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What's The Most Stoopid Joke You've Heard?

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Mudflap On July 18, 2022




Hocking County, Ohio
#1New Post! Mar 12, 2008 @ 16:38:27
These are some of my stinkers. Can you do better... well, I mean worse?

CAUTION: Some are kinda dirty!

Did you hear about the new line of Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses?

They will be for people who love meat tender.

******

A high school girl runs up to her father and says "Daddy, daddy! I need fifty dollars!"

The dad says "Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"

******

First kid: My dad is a doctor.
Second kid: My dad is a lawyer.
First kid: Honest?
Second kid: No, the regular kind.

******

What does Snoop Dog use to wash his white clothes?

Bli-otch!

******

Why do dogs lick their balls?

Because they can't make a fist.

******

You are stuck in a room with no doors, windows, or any way to get out. There is only a table and a mirror. How do you get out?

Look in the mirror. See what you saw? Take the saw and cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole. Go through the hole and you're out.

******

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?

Halfway.

******

A sheriff walks into a saloon and yells for everyone's attention. He says: "Has anyone seen Paper Jake?"

"What's he look like?"

"Well, he wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper jacket, a brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper shoes."

"What's he wanted for?"

"Rustlin........."

******

1st man: Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.
2nd man: What are you taking for it?
1st man: Pepper!

******

A woman calls the operator in Chicago and asks "What's the time difference between here and Seattle?"

The operator says "Just a minute....."

The woman says "Thank you" and hangs up.

******

What's long and yellow and always points north?

A magnetic banana.

******

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

******

Why doesn't Lennox Lewis have a PlayStation?

Because he's an X-Boxer.

******

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile?

"Lets get into the Batmobile."

******

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?

Having electrides attached to your nipples and being flogged with a knotted rope.

******

How do you make a fluffy bunny drink?

Put it in a blender. Add vodka and ice.

******

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with gasoline and throw a match on it. "WOOF!"

******

What goes "OOOOOOOOOO"?

A cow with no lips.

******

Why couldn't Jesus eat M&M's?

Because they weren't around back then.

******

They said I couldn't control my addiction to indecent exposure, but I showed them!

******

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Angry cow.

Angry co......

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

******

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Confused cow.

Confused co......

QUACK! QUACKQUACKQUACK! QUAAAAAAAAAK!

******

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called a suicide hotline. I was put through to a "call center" in Pakistan and explained that I was feeling suicidal. They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane......

******

Badaboom tish!

Thank you, thank you. And remember that the 11 o'clock show is different than this one!
HiImDan On February 29, 2024




Cleveland, the boil on the but
#2New Post! Mar 12, 2008 @ 16:46:55
x_Laura_x On March 13, 2023




Nowhere, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Mar 12, 2008 @ 16:54:36
"Why do dogs lick their balls?

Because they can't make a fist. "

That's the only one I laughed at
natasha_masson On October 31, 2012

Deleted



Arbroath, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Mar 12, 2008 @ 16:55:59
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?









Christopher Walken.
Charles On November 16, 2010




, Christmas Island
#6New Post! Mar 12, 2008 @ 16:58:54
What do you call a fly with no wings?





























A Walk
Charles On November 16, 2010




, Christmas Island
#7New Post! Mar 12, 2008 @ 16:59:18
Well you did ask for BAD
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