A piece of description (not very good, though):-S

I agree! Too many adjectives and difficult to read. Any form of writing should invite the user to read. I found it difficult to move beyond the first para.

i'm sorry for bringing this up and up again, but i think you're sort of judging it on the wrong terms. you're judging it as an ordinary piece of writing? but it was actually intended to be very descriptive and embellished. so it should be judged as a piece of description and i'll take criticism if it's judged against the right terms, because the assigment was to describe and overemploy writing techniques etc.
Gah i'm so bad at taking criticism though.