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Decision to leave!

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localisedgirl On October 03, 2007

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:38:45
I'm looking for some ideas on helping me decide what to do. I know its a decision I must make, but I cant do it. I'll try to shorten it as much as poss.

I have worked in a retail store for a year and a half. I came back off maternity leave 2 months ago. My pay is ok, I do 16 hours a week and my place is local and the hours are bloody good considering I have 2 kids.
It has its usual s***ters, being spoken to and treated like crap at times, no gratitude for your work, end up cleaning up after everyone else cos theyre too lazy to help keep your department tidy etc, but I love working with the customers.

I've been thinking of leaving for a few reasons. these are:

I work sundays 10-2. I HATE it now, since my baby was born, and my bf only has sundays off, we dont have a day together at all. There is no negotiation to not work sundays as the boss dumps the sunday shifts on just 3 of us n wont change that (cos no one else will do them).

Sundays, public transport is bad, so I'moften late, and I open up shop so not good.

With a baby I'm up at 5am, and rarely get back to sleep, so I'm always tired on the days i work.

Worked out our tax credits, and basically if me and my partner both work our hours this year, next year our awards will be dropped by 75%, whereas they will be dropped 25% if I stop work.

And just in general I get pissed off more times than none. Everyone leaves my department a bloody mess cos they cant be arsed and I get sick of going round in circles after everyone.
also just the general crap of daily work life.

I feel if I leave I will strongly regret it, the location and hours are perfect, and i also, on a good day, enjoy getting out the house and doing my own thing. I like working, earning my own money and having my own bit of independance. I've always felt useless if I havent worked.
The more months I work, the more my tax credits will be affected next year, so I need to decide asap. I just cannot decide
I have more benefits to not work, but somethings telling me I'd regret it and not to. Everyone just tells me its up to me to decide etc, but clearly I dont know. I'm at a stage where i really hate the thought of going in, but when I'm there im not so bad. Before iI go I think I'll tell my boss im leaving, then when I'm there, I change my mind.

Any ideas?
cole On October 22, 2023




Stirling, United Kingdom
#2New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:40:53
write down the list of pros and cons and be realistic - then go with what suits you and your family best
localisedgirl On October 03, 2007

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:42:50
@cole Said
write down the list of pros and cons and be realistic - then go with what suits you and your family best


cons outweigh the pros. by far.
i just cant help but worry if its the right thing, or if we'll cope financially. ive worked out we should be ok, but theres always hiccups.
i dont even have a proper childminder for my daughter. my friend next door has her most of the time and i also hate that. it was originally just for one month cos i did say i woudl go back to work for 1 month then leave. im now starting my 3rd month.
treacle On July 11, 2009




B/Stoke, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:43:39
Cole has it spot on.

You have to be realistic otherwise you can end up making a mistake.

I always would advise that is you are going to leave, you firstly find another job ready for when you leave your currant job and secondly that you leave on good terms. Habd in a notice and work it. That way you dont burn bridges and you do get a CV out of them and you dont have a bad record of walking out of jobs.

Good luck
cole On October 22, 2023




Stirling, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:45:05
@localisedgirl Said
cons outweigh the pros. by far.
i just cant help but worry if its the right thing, or if we'll cope financially. ive worked out we should be ok, but theres always hiccups.
i dont even have a proper childminder for my daughter. my friend next door has her most of the time and i also hate that. it was originally just for one month cos i did say i woudl go back to work for 1 month then leave. im now starting my 3rd month.
you also have to take into account what you will be do doin when you give up work, yeah sure you ahve two kids to look after but once you have been working and had a little indendence from the house and kids for a few hours its a bit of a shock getting back into it all again.
minivinni93 On June 12, 2008




Gillingham, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:45:21
@localisedgirl Said


I feel if I leave I will strongly regret it, the location and hours are perfect, and i also, on a good day, enjoy getting out the house and doing my own thing. I like working, earning my own money and having my own bit of independance. I've always felt useless if I havent worked.


you obviously need to change something either in your job or ur job completely but my brother got a really good job in London that got 17500 a year and that was his 1st job but he hated the journey, the place, the people there and everything so he quit and now he works maybe 12 hours a week... are you prepared to risk that i spose
localisedgirl On October 03, 2007

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:46:36
@treacle Said
Cole has it spot on.

You have to be realistic otherwise you can end up making a mistake.

I always would advise that is you are going to leave, you firstly find another job ready for when you leave your currant job and secondly that you leave on good terms. Habd in a notice and work it. That way you dont burn bridges and you do get a CV out of them and you dont have a bad record of walking out of jobs.

Good luck


thanks.

i was thinkig of leaving and being at home with my daughter, not working at all whilst she is young. my partner works so i woudnt be claiming any benefits that way.
i know i need to be realistic, and i think i have been, i just cant choose whats best.
localisedgirl On October 03, 2007

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:48:25
@cole Said
you also have to take into account what you will be do doin when you give up work, yeah sure you ahve two kids to look after but once you have been working and had a little indendence from the house and kids for a few hours its a bit of a shock getting back into it all again.


well one is at school, and i am used to my daily routines of work n housewife stuff.
i just think perhaps its more hassle and less beneficiary that i do work.
alexkidd On February 07, 2012
Captain Awesome!


Deleted



in a bog, Ireland
#9New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:48:45
i went through the same thing over the last few weeks.
my last day was this week and i'm still looking for another job.
but its the best decision i ever made.
i realised life is waaay to short to be somewhere you don't wanna be,
but that easy for me to say, i have very little responibility in life right now. i don't know your situation.
but if your unhappy then get to work on leaving, even if it takes awhile theres always options for you and oter opportunities.
localisedgirl On October 03, 2007

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#10New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 15:49:28
@minivinni93 Said
you obviously need to change something either in your job or ur job completely but my brother got a really good job in London that got 17500 a year and that was his 1st job but he hated the journey, the place, the people there and everything so he quit and now he works maybe 12 hours a week... are you prepared to risk that i spose


i guess so or i woudlnt be thinking of it. i am talking bout quitting work n not looking for another. my uncle suggested working at home on the pc but i have no clue how to find such work.
rockyhps On September 22, 2008

Deleted



Granbury, Texas
#11New Post! Jul 05, 2007 @ 16:48:17
Just one question, where does your partner stand on this issue? Are you allowing your partner to have an input in your decision, seeing how it will affect you both?
localisedgirl On October 03, 2007

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#12New Post! Jul 06, 2007 @ 07:31:40
@rockyhps Said
Just one question, where does your partner stand on this issue? Are you allowing your partner to have an input in your decision, seeing how it will affect you both?


yes, ive asked him and he just says its my decision to make. he thinks i should do what i want to do.
rockyhps On September 22, 2008

Deleted



Granbury, Texas
#13New Post! Jul 06, 2007 @ 18:09:58
You are obviously a very good and responsible person, thus making the decision even harder. I feel that whenever possible, if a mother has the opportunity to spend more time with their children without jeopardizing financial stability, then that is where you need to be. It will pay off in the long run for you and your children, both. I would also think that if you resigned your position on good terms and explained the needs of your children to have their mother, then in the future, if you find that the budget is not working, your employer may be more apt to re-hire you, knowing what a good employee you have been for them in the past. I assume you already know if you can survive month to month on one income, and if so, then I vote for the children. And eliminate the stress the workplace has placed on you.

I wish you the best.
localisedgirl On October 03, 2007

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#14New Post! Jul 06, 2007 @ 18:18:30
@rockyhps Said
You are obviously a very good and responsible person, thus making the decision even harder. I feel that whenever possible, if a mother has the opportunity to spend more time with their children without jeopardizing financial stability, then that is where you need to be. It will pay off in the long run for you and your children, both. I would also think that if you resigned your position on good terms and explained the needs of your children to have their mother, then in the future, if you find that the budget is not working, your employer may be more apt to re-hire you, knowing what a good employee you have been for them in the past. I assume you already know if you can survive month to month on one income, and if so, then I vote for the children. And eliminate the stress the workplace has placed on you.

I wish you the best.


many thanks. and you are right, however the door wont be open for me to return.
I was offered a possibility of halving my hours to 8, which wont affect next years tax credits so that eliminates that. and i will only have to do one sunday every few weeks.
i think i may seek this option and see how it goes from there.
it woudl also help if my work was considerate for us with kids, but they arent.
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