They keep coming

@rondetto Said

Just a warning if you're buying a watch on Amazon.

I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim with it, this only applies if you can already swim without it.
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Two artists had an art contest.

It ended in a draw.
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My friend has an excellent nose for wine.

It's shaped like a cork screw.
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When I was a young boy the doctor told me I had a lazy eye.

By the time I was 20, it had spread to the rest of my body.
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I walked into the kitchen this morning and my wife was standing by the cooker, doing me a fry up in her slippers.

I thought to myself, "I really should buy a frying pan."
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While staying at a hotel recently I couldn't help noticing that some of the guests were continuously yawning..

I guess they were Half Bored.
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My phone keeps falling out of the Slade cover I got for Christmas.

It's a shoddy holder.
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Just came back from a Shoe-mender Convention.

What a load of cobblers that was.
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Someone just asked me when the clocks go forward?

I said, All the time!
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What’s the difference between an Indian and an African Elephant?

I said One's an Elephant.

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