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Jokes & Humor

Time for a few more.

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rondetto On about 1 hour ago




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Jan 20, 2025 @ 15:56:15
I take 8 tablets a day.
I find Security at Curry's is really useless.

___

I think Christmas should be in July when the shops aren't so busy.

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I went to the doctors today.
He told me my sugar was too high, so when I got home I moved it to a lower shelf.

___

Me and the wife decided to make our own sex tape although she wasn't happy when I started holding auditions for her part.

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Complaint to our local council:" I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night."

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I got so drunk last night, I had a fight with a mop..
To be fair, I wiped the floor with it.

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Did you hear about the Egyptian funeral parlour? They promise "Satisfaction guaranteed, or your mummy back."

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My best mate used to be addicted to drinking washing-up liquid.
But he’s clean now.

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Darkman666 On about 16 hours ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! Jan 22, 2025 @ 03:55:06
@rondetto Said

I take 8 tablets a day.
I find Security at Curry's is really useless.

___

I think Christmas should be in July when the shops aren't so busy.

___



I went to the doctors today.
He told me my sugar was too high, so when I got home I moved it to a lower shelf.

___

Me and the wife decided to make our own sex tape although she wasn't happy when I started holding auditions for her part.

___

Complaint to our local council:" I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night."

___

I got so drunk last night, I had a fight with a mop..
To be fair, I wiped the floor with it.

___

Did you hear about the Egyptian funeral parlour? They promise "Satisfaction guaranteed, or your mummy back."

___

My best mate used to be addicted to drinking washing-up liquid.
But he’s clean now.

___






a drunk, who came in a bar. he walk to the bar, and sat on a bar stool. then, the drunk said to the bardenter, " drink for everybody, even you, bardenter! "

a little bit later, the drunk said aloud for everyone in the bar. " anouther round for everyone, even you, bardenter!" this celebration goes for six more around. then, the bardenter had enough. then, he told the drunk, " it's time to paid up! " the drunk look up at him, and said, " i don't have any money! " all sudden, the bardenter got furious and came around the bar. then, he pick up the drunk by his coat, and throw him out of the bar.

outside the bar, the drunk pick himself off the street and walk back behind the bar. teh, drunk came through the back door of the bar. the drunk stagger back to his bar stool. then the bardenter and the drunk look at each other. the drunk want to celebrated again. the drunk said to everyone, " drinks for everyone on me. but not the bardenter, he is nasty, when he is drinking! "
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