More funnies

@rondetto Said

You have to feel sorry for Jonathan Ross, he's just spent two weeks in Powys, thinking that he'd booked for a fortnight in the French Capital City.

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I'll tell you how good my Doctor is: He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years Before he realized she was Chinese.

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To the person who flytipped their mattress outside my house.
I don’t know how you sleep at night!

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I hurt my back the other day playing piggyback with my very young nephew, I fell off and really hurt myself.

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Me and my girlfriend are having communication problems every time I ring her, her husband answers.

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Why is there always a shop selling luggage at the airport?
Who is going on holiday, carrying armfuls of clothes, saying, I'll pack when we get to the airport?

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The man that invented the Yo-Yo died yesterday…
He was lowered into his grave 15 times!

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About a month before he died, my grandmother covered my grandfather with lard. After that, he went downhill very quickly.

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I jumped on the tube this morning.
Toothpaste went everywhere.

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