More puns

@rondetto Said

My local chef got caught embezzling, he was cooking the books.

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One day I hope to lose so much weight that I win the Nobelly Prize!

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So a big group of fawns, moose and elks got together and had a huge party and the catering bill was absolutely enormous.
That was a really deer do.

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I never understood why people dislike vegans so much…I've never had any beef with them!

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I was pleased when I first heard my boss described me as 'one to watch' in our office.
Sadly he was talking to the head of security.

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First there was the Olympics, then the Paralympics, and then tomorrow Paris hosts the Gasmen Olympics.
First event is the 10,000 meters.

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A guy and his wife came up to me in the shopping centre today and said, "Excuse me, do you know where we can find Pets at Home?"
I said, "Have you tried looking under the bed?"

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If Supermarkets go cashless how we gonna get a shopping trolley ?

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With halloween approaching, I have a Grim Reaper costume for sale.
It's one scythe fits all.

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I’m not saying my neighbor over the road is unattractive but I just broke into her house to close her curtains.

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Mother: Why aren't you doing well at history?
Son: The teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born.

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I watched the movie "Sitting Bull" today with just a tinge of sadness.





My Great, Great Grandfather died at the Little Bighorn! He wasn't fighting. He was camping in the next field and went over to complain about the noise!!

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