More Funnies

@rondetto Said

NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to all the aliens.
They are calling it 'Apollo G'

___

I came so close to winning the lottery jackpot on Saturday.
My next door neighbour won it.

___

I failed my driving test for looking in the mirror too much.
I was only checking the sports pages.

___

The government wants to ban tube trains, but that will just drive them underground.

___

I went for a blood test, the Doctor said "The results don’t look good.”
I said "Oh god, why?” ....He said "The printer ran out of ink.”

___

Did you know, If you carefully file down the edges of a 50 pence coin you can use it as a 10p..

___

My son's at university studying violin and accountancy.
He'll never be out of work, - an accountant on the fiddle.

___

I'm looking to buy an old disused lighthouse.
You know, nothing too flashy.

___