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Wedding celebrations - love or attention seeking?

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amelie3

Sydney, Australia

Jul 19, 2009 @ 04:52:43

I have always been fascinated by a few things around weddings and have already vowed to not do these things when/if I marry.

1. Spend more money on my wedding day than I would on my own education: some weddings are just crazy - 500 people at your wedding is not a genuine declaration of your love, it's a spectacle. As I've said here before, I think a wedding day is the closest to understanding celebrity that many people will get. It's your cash, sure....but the bigger it gets, the less it's about love, to me, and more about wanting to be the centre of attention for a day.

2. Invite people to my engagement party who I don't intend to invite to my wedding: I would never invite people to my engagement party if I didn't intend to invite them to my wedding. I think it's the height of bad manners.

It's the equivalent of saying: 'come celebrate and be happy for me and sure, bring a gift, but when I think about the people who are most important to me, sorry, you aren't one of them." lmao

I'm all for a small wedding and a big party afterwards to include those people I couldn't include at the wedding, but I most certainly would insist on no gifts. I don't need 75 toaster ovens anyway.

Your thoughts?

not_fond_of_fondu

Shiny, Indiana

Jul 19, 2009 @ 05:19:02

I could not handle a large wedding. I have to agree with you about it becoming more of a stage show the more people you invite (outside your immediate family that is: the bigger that is the more screwed you are anyway). I've watched too many episodes of Bridezillas where they rant and rave because something or other takes away from their attention.

What I eventually want is this: Me, Groom, Mom (if she lives that long), godfamily, and a few select friends that I feel are most important to me. So yes, I'm all for the small weddings. I think I'd feel guilty if I had lots of people at the reception getting me things. Oy! :P

Marshmellow

Deleted

Jul 19, 2009 @ 05:48:09

I dont see anything wrong with a large wedding,If thats what you want.
I think I would just want a few friends and it be outdoors.
nothing fancy.

harfim

Bay Point, California

Jul 19, 2009 @ 06:10:06

@amelie3 Said

I have always been fascinated by a few things around weddings and have already vowed to not do these things when/if I marry.

It's the equivalent of saying: 'come celebrate and be happy for me and sure, bring a gift, but when I think about the people who are most important to me, sorry, you aren't one of them." lmao

In the good old days when communication was not as communicating is now, as well as when celebrating a wedding was not expensive, and, in addition to social values and social status (I do not know what these two mean!), a wedding celebration was a way of announcing to the world that the two main individuals were married and they are husband and wife from "now to eternity". WWII changed a lot of those reasons, and wedding celebrations took different shapes and sizes depending on the "attitude" of the bride and groom and/or the pride and prejudice of the parents. I believe now that the younger generation has a greater say in matters of the heart, and in the light of the present economic squeeze, it is time to say goodbye to wedding celebrations. An email to all friends and those concerned announcing the new status of the couple sould earn some money for themselves and their friends and relatives - "A penny saved is a penny earned"..

iwannano

Mountain William

Deleted

Jul 19, 2009 @ 07:10:34

A lot of times it's the brides parents paying for the wedding and it's the mother of the bride that wants the huge gathering and all the pomp and show that the 'magazines' push. by the time the 'Big Day' arrives the bride and groom are either not longer sure they even like each other or really thinking about sneaking out the back way and eloping.

tardcore

Deleted

Between a rock and another roc

Jul 19, 2009 @ 07:16:37

I would never have a huge wedding. I went to my friend's wedding a few weeks ago that was at a really nice bed and breakfast at the beach with just some of their friends and family and it was exactly the way I would have done it.

amelie3

Sydney, Australia

Jul 19, 2009 @ 07:17:48

@iwannano Said

This is often true. In Australia if you are Greek or Lebanese, forget about a quiet wedding of 10. Your parents pay for it and there's a lot of social competing going on on their part. It's usually at least 500 people - most of the invites being people who invited you or someone you know to their wedding 15 years ago.

ReAdSaLoT

Jul 19, 2009 @ 07:23:24

I was in school busy with an internship; couldn't have cared less. Well, I had a huge wedding, sunken dance floor, big orchestra the whole deal. My mother did it. She said, "Two choices, elope or we do it up right." I said," as long as I pick my music, flowers, vows to say and get to dance, fine."
She also said, "This cost a fortune, make it stick." 4'11" of no nonsense. My father put on his tux, said,"I feel like a stuffed penguin " and gave me away. It stuck, I finished school, Ed and I planned our marriage while Mama did the rest. Everybody had a great time. It usually or often is the bride's mother.

tardcore

Deleted

Between a rock and another roc

Jul 19, 2009 @ 07:33:32

@amelie3 Said

In those cultures, marriage is traditionally thought to be a lifelong union and is viewed as an extremely important and sacred event, not that it isn't sacred in other cultures, but especially in the U.S., it isn't as sacred as it once was.

iwannano

Mountain William

Deleted

#10

Jul 19, 2009 @ 07:38:35

At fifteen I didn't have a clue . So the step mother tried to do her worst as far as stupid planning . But there was a neighbor lady that really liked me (still does) that told my dad if he would pay for the material and cake mixes etc... she would make my dress and the cake. And just the families between the two of us filled the church to standing room only , the party afterwards was at the ranch . ( this is off topic, but for the new members , yes 15 , no didn't have to ,my 1st baby was born 9 months and 4 days after wedding day, I was escaping from my 5th step mother)

boobagins

SPICY HOT TAMALES

Astral Weeks, Florida

#11

Jul 19, 2009 @ 18:33:56

In India...the whole village or town is invited. It wouldn't surprise me if there were a good 500 people there. And there is a resason why everyone is invited, because its a religious ceremony.

I know if i do get married...their will be a lot of people...because my mom couldn't handle anything less.

kaydoh

nottingham, United Kingdom

#12

Jul 19, 2009 @ 20:19:02

The whole big wedding thing is not my bag at all, I would hate it. Having said that we all have different views and just cos two people go all out on their wedding doesn't mean it's all just for show, for some it's a true celebration of their love for each other.

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