Letters to the borough council:
I wish to complain that my Father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage
The lavatory is blocked, This is caused by the boys next door throwing their balls on the roof
This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door
The toilet is cracked, where do I stand
I am still having trouble with the smoke in my built in drawers
I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
Our toilet seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces
Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
My toilet is blocked and we can't bathe the children until it is cleared.
The person next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.
Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. yesterday my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant.
Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.
Could you please repair our toilet, as my son pulled the chain and the box fell on his head.
Will you please send a man to look at my water as it is a funny colour and is not fit to drink.
Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.
I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.
This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get Radio2.
with all those problems above, i would use the toilet at the cross street gas station!