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Jen's Brexit Watch.

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Jennifer1984 On about 4 hours ago
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#31New Post! Jan 06, 2019 @ 00:57:27
I thought I'd bump this old thread again, just for a laugh. Brexit is so bad we have to find a way to laugh about just how ridiculous it, and the people promoting it.... are.

Brexiter of the week: Theresa May. She couldn't even give a half decent answer when questioned about her favourite Christmas movie. Despite repeated assertions that she is not a racist and has absolute respect for people of colour, she chose Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby, which as we all know, gave us THAT Christmas song. As answers go it's the sort of gaffe that only a Brexiter could have made.

If her researchers had spent literally seconds checking Wikipedia they could have advised her that the film contains an excruciating scene in which Crosby performs a song in Blackface while dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

Excellent taste, Prime Minister.

He's accompanied by an orchestra, also in Blackface and wearing slave garb straight from the cotton fields while the white audience is served by blacked up waiters.

Not racist at all are you, eh Tess...?
Jennifer1984 On about 4 hours ago
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#32New Post! Oct 10, 2019 @ 05:17:08
Brexiters of the week:

DOMINIC CUMMINGS:

In case you're wondering where James Cleverly and Boris Johnson Cummings got it from, the Wile E Coyote of British politics had this exchange with a BBC reporter on the way to work

REPORTER: "Brexit doesn't look like a walk in the park then?"

CUMMINGS: "Who said it would be a walk in the park?"

R: "You did. Last night."

C: "Noooooooooo" (gets into car, slams door shut)

Of course, it turned out that he'd said nothing of the sort at Vote Leave back bencher Stuart Wheeler's book launch the previous night. Well, apart from this:

"We are not under pressure, the referendum was pressure, the referendum was difficult. This is a walk in the park compared to the referendum."


So there you have it. Dominic Cummings says he didn't say Brexit was a walk in the park. Honest, guv.


But my fave snippet from this week is:

KELVIN FLETCHER

The Strictly Come Dancing favourite has wiped a series of his pro-Brexit Tweets off his account apparently in an attempt to make sure he doesn't alienate remain voters on the TV dance show.

He deleted the tweets, but replies to them are still visible from other Twitter users. Replies like: "I agree with you Kelvin; we should get rid of the bloody foreigners and take our country back. Send the lot of them back where they came from.

This begs the question what would Strictly look like after Brexit if Kelvin had his way..?

Let's get rid of this fancy foreign stuff like the Argentine Tango and all that Samba rubbish. What the hell is a paso doble anyway?

Let's have good British dancing instead. Didn't we invent the Pogo..? We could even change the name. Let's call it "Strictly Morris Dancing" instead.
Jennifer1984 On about 4 hours ago
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#33New Post! Sep 14, 2020 @ 17:44:09
I thought I'd bump this old thread just for a laugh again. Brexit had seemed all over after last Autumn and well.... it just became so depressing I couldn't find it in myself to even mock it any more.

But come on.... there's always something we can take the mickey out of so feel free, one and all to contribute to the dogs dinner that is our national self-harm programme:




It seems that Phosphine gas has been discovered in the atmosphere of Venus which, technically at least, could indicate the possibility of some form of life there.

This will horrify Nigel Farage. I can imagine he's already cranking himself up for the possibility of hordes of Venusians coming to the south coast of England in the hope of taking advantage of our "soft touch" benefits system.

Pointing at some squiggles on a beer mat that he found in Wetherspoons, Kent's latest beachcomber and expert on dinghies will soon be warning us that extraterrestrial intruders will stop at nothing in their quest for Universal Credit at the expense of the hardworking British taxpayer.

"I've seen compelling evidence from impeccable sources in the Dog and Duck that aliens will take on the identity of the indigenous population by sucking out our brains and replicating our DNA."

"Venusians in human form will put our already struggling public services under enormous pressure."

"Why isn't the biased BBC reporting this..?"


This week's UKIP leader, Neil Hamilton believes that 20 foot high Muslimatron androids are already attacking earth in giant space mosques, but the EU is covering it up.

"Nigel is right to bring our attention to this" he told a reporter who had drawn the short straw and been told to approach him for comment.

"In conversations I've had with Paul Nuttall and his team of Colonial Space Marines on the exmoon LV-426, xenomorphs have no respect for British values."

"No doubt the EU will welcome these alien parasites with open arms and then encourage them to come to Britain to sponge off us like all the other foreigners do."

"It's all part of Brussell's plan."
dookie On about 1 hour ago
Foolish Bombu





, United Kingdom
#34New Post! Sep 14, 2020 @ 18:18:21
@Jennifer1984 Said

I thought I'd bump this old thread just for a laugh again. Brexit had seemed all over after last Autumn and well.... it just became so depressing I couldn't find it in myself to even mock it any more.


Yes, beyond mockery.


@Jennifer1984 Said

It seems that Phosphine gas has been discovered in the atmosphere of Venus which, technically at least, could indicate the possibility of some form of life there.


This discovery not to be confused with life being discovered at Number 10 Downing St. (It turned out to be Larry the Cat)

@Jennifer1984 Said

"Why isn't the biased BBC reporting this..?"


Not now we have the new DirecTORY General of the BBC Tim Davie, ex Tory Councillor for Hammersmith and Fulham Council.

@Jennifer1984 Said

This week's UKIP leader, Neil Hamilton......



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