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The Loch Ness Monster

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rondetto 9 minutes ago




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Sep 11, 2020 @ 11:12:48
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness,
suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
It snatched the atheist up in her jaws threw her head back, throwing the man up in the air.
Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break,until now I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
darkman666 0 minutes ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! Sep 11, 2020 @ 18:04:49
@rondetto Said

An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness,
suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
It snatched the atheist up in her jaws threw her head back, throwing the man up in the air.
Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break,until now I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"





i used believed easter bunny and santa claus.

i heard that a comet hit santa's sled on his midnight run and killed everybody including the raindeers. the sled blew up and felled to the earth. easter bunny and family watching santa going by. the comet fell on them, they died that night, too.

this why i am jewish!
dookie On about 1 hour ago
Foolish Bombu





, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Sep 11, 2020 @ 18:14:04
The one about the guy negotiating a high mountain path with a 1000ft drop on one side. He slips but manages to grab an overhanging branch. He is hanging there, his strength fading. He cries out:- "If there IS anyone up there, help me!" A big voice booms from the heavens: - "There IS somebody up here! I WILL help you! Just let go of the branch and the eternal arms will save you!" The guy looks down, then up, then cries out:- "Is there anybody else up there?"
darkman666 0 minutes ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#4New Post! Sep 11, 2020 @ 19:03:00
@dookie Said

The one about the guy negotiating a high mountain path with a 1000ft drop on one side. He slips but manages to grab an overhanging branch. He is hanging there, his strength fading. He cries out:- "If there IS anyone up there, help me!" A big voice booms from the heavens: - "There IS somebody up here! I WILL help you! Just let go of the branch and the eternal arms will save you!" The guy looks down, then up, then cries out:- "Is there anybody else up there?"




this remind me of this joke.

one summer in louisana, a bad flooding hit a small town. a man sitting on his roof, watching everybody's houses, cars, toilets, you name it went by his house.

a boat comes by and stop, and the policeman ask, " he want to be rescue, because this last search party by boat is going available un this area. "

the man waving them going by, and the man said, " don't worry, i'm praying to god, that he will recuse me! " the boat leave the area.

about an half hour later, a helicopter is hovering over him. a man in the helicopter sending down a rope to lift the man up. the man grabs the rope, and looks up to the man in the helicopter. the man said and signaling to lift the rope, " thanks, but no thanks!" the man in the helicopter put the rope in the copter, and sign the man, " ok! " and the copter flew away.

but an hour later, the man drown sitting on his house.

the man wake up and facing god, and the man was really pissed off by god. the man to god, " where in the hell were you, i was praying to you to recused me, where the hell you, GOD? "

god was angry and said to the man, " you f***ing dumbass, i sent you boat and helicopter. what's a dumbass! "
dookie On about 1 hour ago
Foolish Bombu





, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Sep 12, 2020 @ 09:13:39
Then the guy who begs God to let him win the lottery.

"Lord, I've served you well. Let me win the lottery"

The next week he is back on his knees. "Lord, I never won again. I have been a loyal servant. Please let me win the lottery."

Next week, back again, "Lord, my faith is being tested to the limit. Please, please, let me win!"

Next week, back again, "Lord, this is your last chance. My faith will die. Let me win the lottery"

Then a big voice booms from on high, "OK, but can you just help me a little. This week can you at least buy a ticket?"
darkman666 0 minutes ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#6New Post! Sep 12, 2020 @ 14:47:30
@dookie Said

Then the guy who begs God to let him win the lottery.

"Lord, I've served you well. Let me win the lottery"

The next week he is back on his knees. "Lord, I never won again. I have been a loyal servant. Please let me win the lottery."

Next week, back again, "Lord, my faith is being tested to the limit. Please, please, let me win!"

Next week, back again, "Lord, this is your last chance. My faith will die. Let me win the lottery"

Then a big voice booms from on high, "OK, but can you just help me a little. This week can you at least buy a ticket?"



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