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Army red tape

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rondetto On about 18 hours ago




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Mar 29, 2019 @ 17:22:50
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, With respect sir, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"
darkman666 On July 19, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! Mar 29, 2019 @ 17:32:33
@rondetto Said

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, With respect sir, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"


shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#3New Post! Mar 30, 2019 @ 09:26:39
@rondetto Said

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, With respect sir, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"


He must be VERY new. If the choice is btw shooting an officer or an NCO you always shoot the officer!
Jennifer1984 On about 11 hours ago
Remoaner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Apr 02, 2019 @ 08:28:38
Very droll in a dark humour sort of way, but it's closer to the truth than some might think........


Fragging
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#5New Post! Apr 02, 2019 @ 15:55:40
This joke clearly went over your head. No surprise there.
Jennifer1984 On about 11 hours ago
Remoaner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 16:06:01
No, it didn't go over my head, I was referring to, no.... surely I don't have to tell you something that's happened in UK that you don't know about...?

You who know everything...? Surely this cannot be...?? An incident occurs in Britain and Shadeowen... the know it all of TFS... the self appointed grand vizier of all things British.... He doesn't know about the Paratroopers who are, reportedly, going to be charged and court martialled here for opening fire on......

Oh surely. You must know. I mean, how could I possibly know about something happening in my own country that you don't know about on the other side of the world..??
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#7New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 16:20:35
I know about the incident involving the lads from 3 Para. Personally I think the reaction by many in the media, MP's and others has been WAY over the top.
Delta62 On April 29, 2019
Natural asshole





manchester, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 16:24:51
😐 well that went down hill faster than a run away tank going down hill into a church, which I didn't totally do because I didn't *ahem*.
My lawyer just told me not to speak any further on the subject matter due to either a driver or the general don't know which of them is going to shoot me and are now bickering about it.
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#9New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 16:41:05
CSM to private: "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning."
Private: "Thank you very much, sir."
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#10New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 16:52:32
Officer: "Private, do you have change for a dollar?"
Private: "Sure, mate."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now, let's try that again! Private, do you have change for a dollar?"
Private: "No, SIR!"
Jennifer1984 On about 11 hours ago
Remoaner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#11New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 17:33:00
@shadowen Said

I know about the incident involving the lads from 3 Para. Personally I think the reaction by many in the media, MP's and others has been WAY over the top.



Well googled. So in your previous comment you were merely being obtuse then.

And it's not way over the top. There is emerging evidence of far right infiltration in the army that is causing a lot of concern.

The extremist elements of the Brexit campaign are urging violence:

UKIP Councillor Says Remainers Should Be Attacked With Machetes

Snip

Ms Nissanga, who is originally from Sri Lanka, has suggested in other posts that remain voters should be hanged, or attacked by gangs with "huge machetes". She has said that "Conservative and Labour traitors" should be "wiped out".

Concern has been expressed over claims made on Facebook that regulars in the army are assisting with training of people who want to see "traitors" "Get their due".

We're not talking about a coup, but there is clearly a danger when professional troops help to train, organise and teach tactics to civilian gangs bent on violent protest.

No, not an overraction. The army has to be seen to be doing something. Such a situation cannot be allowed to flourish.

Or do you favour that..?
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#12New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 17:52:10
Happy to discuss the above with you in a different thread. This thread however is just meant to be a bit of fun.
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#13New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 17:55:47
Q: What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? A: Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#14New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 18:08:38
A soldier who has survived mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.
shadowen On July 18, 2019




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#15New Post! Apr 09, 2019 @ 18:18:03
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?”
Second soldier: “No way mate!”
First soldier: “Why not?”
Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
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