communication

How can I get my boyfriend to be better at communicating with me?And how can I get him to talk to me more?

I believe the person who cares least in the relationship controls it's direction.

Withold sex and affection. Send a message and ask to talk. If he doesn't agree, remove yourself from being physically available and begin to disentangle yourself from the things which bind you to him.

If he continues to remain silent, tell him that you won't be available to a person who never has the ability to speak his mind.

I'm a man and I don't communicate my feelings in real time very well. Often I have to ruminate and allow the more impactful events wash through for a while.

This dood simply may not have the ability to chat as much. Alot of fellers are more quiet about stuff.

Don't withhold anything, as the other poster suggests. Games, or spite only creates new problems.

Tell him start talking to you and treating you like a friend or you'll find a guy who will.

My experience has been that it is better to trust what a person does not what they say.

Absolutely. When words and actions seem to be in conflict with one another it's best to give more weight to actions.

Personally I think it unhealthy to engage in mind games/power plays etc within a relationship. Furthermore, I think it's extremely unhealthy to withhold, or threaten to withhold, sex and/or affection in order to try and control, change or manipulate the behaviour of your partner. That to me is a toxic relationship.

The reality is everyone is different and for me the sign of a healthy relationship is one where you are able to accept your partner for who they are and not try to change them to better suit yourself. Rather than try and get your partner to change so they are more like you respect and embrace your differences. So if the issues mentioned really bother you then by all means calmly talk to him and explain how you feel but don't try to change him. Think too how you would feel if he thought you were always wanting to talk etc and wouldn't give him space. That he was trying to find ways to get you to change. How would that feel?

IMO when in a relationship you focus on what you like about your partner and you accept them for who they are. You don't try to change them. If however you decide that your partner has intrinsic personality traits that overshadow those aspects of their character that draw you to them then you either find a way to accept these traits or you end the relationship and look elsewhere. What you don't try to do is 'train' them so they are more like you.

The first reply is passive aggressive, it will destroy your relationship. Imagine if your partner suddenly did that to you in response to him feeling you don't have sex enough or you're not pulling your weight around the house. How would you know what the actual problem is?

He's probably clueless there is any communication problem at all. You have to be direct - "Hey ___, we need to have a sit down conversation about our level of communication. I am not happy with how things are going and would like to discuss ways to make it better. When are you available?" Then you can write down your grievances (to gather your thoughts in preparation for the conversation). When you do speak, ensure it's in a constructive manner. Avoid phrases like "you did","you always", etc. Approach it from the angle of partnership, be calm and rational. Try to avoid being accusatory, argumentative or overly emotional so your message can be heard and understood.

There's always counseling and books like The 5 Love Languages that you can read together and discuss.

Perhaps you could hide the remote & his video games. IMHO to many people are completely addicted to those things & loose contact with reality.

I am pretty picky when it comes to the reality I choose.

It is not denial...

So am I BUT staring at a tv 24/7 is hardly a good practice.