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chaski On about 8 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#451New Post! Nov 28, 2017 @ 00:00:20
@twilitezone911 Said

i thought it about last month, i picture on stella, twilite's ex wife, you saw stella, you why i said haven't anything.

exactly, you hardly mention yourself, once it's awhile, funny. then, it getting boring.



Ok

So, I’m sitting here on the west coast watching the sun set, it isn’t Florida, but it is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick....

I’m wearing my blue dress, in honor of the Twighlight, but crossing my legs

Drinking a Bloody Mary... well really it’s vodka and tomato juice as I was too lazy to mix a batch of Bloody Mary mix...

Life is good... automatic spell correct sucks...
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#452New Post! Nov 28, 2017 @ 00:04:30
@chaski Said

Ok

So, I’m sitting here on the west coast watching the sun set, it isn’t Florida, but it is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick....

I’m wearing my blue dress, in honor of the Twighlight, but crossing my legs

Drinking a Bloody Mary... well really it’s vodka and tomato juice as I was too lazy to mix a batch of Bloody Mary mix...

Life is good... automatic spell correct sucks...



if spelling check wearing a blue dress, i probably use it more.
shadowen On March 22, 2024




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#453New Post! Dec 20, 2017 @ 16:14:24
Police have arrested a woman for stealing a sign reading;
"& Emergency".
She claimed she found it by Accident
shadowen On March 22, 2024




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#454New Post! Dec 20, 2017 @ 16:19:34
The Sergeant-Major strides into a brothel and asks the madame:
"How much for the pleasure of my company?"
She quotes him a very reasonable price, so the Sergeant-Major agrees, strides to the door and bellows:




"COMPANY! ...left hand file followed by the centre file followed by the right hand file, into the brothel...QUICK MARCH!!!"
shadowen On March 22, 2024




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#455New Post! Dec 20, 2017 @ 16:22:46
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell.

It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and lifts. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular bloke.

One day, God calls Satan and says: "So, how are things in Hell?"

Satan replies: "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets, and lifts. And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

"What!" God exclaims: "You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have been sent to Hell. Send him to me."

"Not a chance," Satan replies: "I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him!"

God insists: "Send him back or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?
shadowen On March 22, 2024




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#456New Post! Dec 20, 2017 @ 16:35:08
The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity,
so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge!
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#457New Post! Dec 20, 2017 @ 16:57:30
@shadowen Said

The Sergeant-Major strides into a brothel and asks the madame:
"How much for the pleasure of my company?"
She quotes him a very reasonable price, so the Sergeant-Major agrees, strides to the door and bellows:




"COMPANY! ...left hand file followed by the centre file followed by the right hand file, into the brothel...QUICK MARCH!!!"



FunnyZero On January 05, 2018




Andijan, Uzbekistan
#458New Post! Jan 05, 2018 @ 16:36:57
Komentenmelodie On May 25, 2018




,
#459New Post! Feb 02, 2018 @ 02:47:32
How can you tell if a blond has been on a computer?


The whiteout on the screen!
Komentenmelodie On May 25, 2018




,
#460New Post! Feb 02, 2018 @ 02:49:15
How do u confuse an Irishman?


Put three spades in front of him & tell him to take his pick!! (another option would be to put him in a dustbin & tell him to stand in the corner!)
Komentenmelodie On May 25, 2018




,
#461New Post! Feb 02, 2018 @ 02:52:03
Whats the definition of confusion??

A buss load of blind lesbians at a fish processing factory!!
emilewis7 On July 09, 2019
Troll



Rufus, Oregon
#462New Post! Jul 08, 2019 @ 22:54:15
@misunderstood Said

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "Because I process food and give all of your energy."

"I should be in charge!" demanded the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in and all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral Of The Story: You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an a*****e!!


Sounds about Right don't it? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
amhunt On August 10, 2019




columbus, Georgia
#463New Post! Aug 10, 2019 @ 21:02:34
https://offerit.co/affid?referrer=ally_80976
Ricky92072 On July 02, 2021




Santee,
#464New Post! Sep 16, 2020 @ 21:39:34
I love to say jokes
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