It's a balance of both - and when to deal with it/talk it out VERSUS moving on/living in the now will vary person to person, day to day.
For example - "IF" say, my mama died, my grandson died, my oldest brother died, and my beloved furbaby/dog died all within the last ten years --- LIFE STILL GOES ON. That is not to say that I would not have days or hours of numbness/inactivity/hibernation/sadness/crying.
It means to allow oneself to go thru those periods/phases, recognize them for what they are ---- and they are very real --- and then be able to AT THE RIGHT TIME/when or as needed for that specific person --- to MOVE ON, MOVE PAST THAT. Then, one must/can/will when the time is right for them ...'nowww'... choose which thoughts you will keep in your head, which thoughts you will replace or file AWAY ... for nowwww. That is the balance - choosing your thoughts which will determine your actions (for now). Each person has to deal with their past, their traumas, but they can and will reach the point where they CAN CHOOSE not to deal with the PAST/GRIEF 'for now' ... and forcus on the present ... for now. Essentially, living in the now, not in the past.
And being understanding of yourself when thoughts of the past creep in and start to consume your mind/life. Process/prioritize your thoughts/ needs at the time, then .... move on (as it suits your and your life and your needs).