@Hypnotica Said
OK folks, quick question.
First of all a bit of background: I was having a chat with one of the girls at work today because she had split up with her Boyfriend and boo hoo, blah blah blah I thought it was the one. Just to clarify I practiced empathy (emotinal intelligence: good read). I wasnt as cold hearted as I appear here, but I have heard this many times and read it many times. Its just yeah I got it, you were emotionally attached.
Anyway, I asked her what it was she saw in him and why it didnt work out. Basically they had different life styles, she was a go getter and he was for want of a better word a lazy slob. And based on what she was saying about him and what I know of her, he was punching above his weight.
I then asked if this was a common occcurence. She said yeah. I then asked if she did any sort of screening. She seemed puzzled, so I was like, well forget shallow interests, how do you find out what makes the person tick. And she said she gives them time and gets to know them.
I basically suggested NLP Elicition of Values. Basically asking questions to find out what makes a person tick. Basically finding out their goals in life and what their main focus is. Ok I did learn this due to heavy involvement in the seduction community. But regardless, as far as I am concerned, this is what matters. If your main goal in life is having fun, then sirely you want someone with a similar goals.
I mentioned a method of doing this. Im not posting that here, as it can be used for ulterior means. She seemed both fascinated and horrified. I then ran it on her and she again ssemed fascinated and horrified that I could find out more about her than her BF ever did in a couple of questions.
So anyway she then said that this is manipulative. Well no, to me it isnt.
So anyway the question, screening people so you can get a feel for what they are about, other than shallow surface level crap. Is it manipulative or not? I believe that in this context it isnt but someone who overheard booted in and said otherwise.
PS: I in no way shape or form claim to be an NLP practicioner. I have studied the topic but not done any official recognition.
Thoughts please.
Not sure I totally understand your question, but here goes...
Do opposites attract... yes. It is not uncommon for one person to be attracted to another's differences...sometimes to correct the flaws, other times to vicariously live the "bad" or "good" life, or... etc.
Should a person spend some time and really assess whether or not another person is truly comparable for a serious long term relationship... yes.
Should a lay person psycho analyze another person....absolutely not. If you don't have training and experience in using psychological assessment techniques you are libel to hurt yourself and those around you (I once knew a woman who ran around doing this... she was a very sad and lonely person).