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just a typical average jewish mother and daughter conversation

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twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#1New Post! Feb 24, 2013 @ 04:20:29
mother: " hello? "

daughter: " hi, mom! can i leave the kids with you tonight? "

mother: " you're going out? "

daughter: " yes! "

mother: " with whom? "

daughter: " with a friend. "

mother: " i don't know why, you left your husband. he is such a good man. "

daughter: " i didn't leave. he left me! "

mother: " you let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. "

daughter: " i did not go out with anybody. "

mother: " i never left you to go out without anybody except your father. "

daughter: " there are lots of things that you did, and i don't. "

mother: " what are you hinting at? "

daughter: " nothing, i just want to know if i can bring the kids over tonight. "

mother: " you're going to stay the night with him? what will your husband say if he find out? "

daughter: " my EX husband, i don't think he would be brothered. from the day, he left me, he probably never slept alone! "

mother: " so, you're to sleep over at this loser's place. "

daughter: " he's not a loser."

mother: " a man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite. "

daughter: " i don't want to argue. should i bring over the kids or I ? "

mother: " poor children with such a mother. "

daughter: " such a what? "

mother: " with no stability. no wonder your husband left you. "

daughter: " ENOUGH!!!"

mother: " don't scream at me. you probably scream at this loser, too. "

daughter: " now you're worried about the loser? "

mother: " ah, so you see he's a loser. i spotted him immediately. "

daughter: " goodbye, mother. "

mother: " wait! don't hang up! where are you bringing them over? "

daughter: " i'm not bringing them over! i'm going out! "

mother: " if you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone? "
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! Feb 24, 2013 @ 04:42:21
you really would appreciate this thread if you have a jewish mother. if my mom was alive, if she read this thread, she would be laughing her a** off. it is not that conversation is typical, but how the mother and daughter is reacting to the conversation is typical. this subject above is not that typical conversation, i threw in the title to make it more funny. i think every mother would act the same way that mother did in this thread, because they care. jewish mothers are different than not jewish mothers, they have a way make a jewish child feel more guilty than they deserved. i know from my experiences with my mother would make me feel guilty that rain in new york, don't get start with with the stories about my mom and me. my mom and i had a pretty good relationship when she was alive, we got closer at the end. this conversation is really funny, just read between the lines. and feel guilty!
BozieFozie On August 08, 2017
Life's a Beach





Paradise, Florida
#3New Post! Feb 24, 2013 @ 11:41:20
Finny, Twilight. I saw "Guilt Trip" last night, talk about a typical Jewish mother, although their religion was never brought up. Barbara Streisand hits it out of the ballpark!
Freyathehippy On April 03, 2013

Deleted



The bumhole of nowhere, United
#4New Post! Feb 24, 2013 @ 11:59:59
@twilitezone911 Said

this conversation is really funny, just read between the lines. and feel guilty!


I had the privilege of hearing my best friend ask his mother (they're Jewish) asking his mother to help him come up with a Jewish joke that he could tell for an English project on comedy. He wanted to do something simple, so he asked her the question 'How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?'

She must be some sort of queen of everything, because without missing a beat she yelled:
'NONE! If my son will not come and help his poor mother and do it for me, then I will sit in the dark!'

I nearly cried. Genuinely, that was probably the finest moment of my life, saving the time when we covered the cat in glowsticks and sent it into my dad's room at 1am.
ArmourOfGod On September 29, 2013

Banned



, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Feb 24, 2013 @ 16:05:16
I didnt realise you were a Jew, Twilight.
JR_Sanford On August 02, 2017




Portland (St. Johns), Oregon
#6New Post! Feb 24, 2013 @ 16:45:18
@twilitezone911 Said

mother: " hello? "

daughter: " hi, mom! can i leave the kids with you tonight? "

mother: " you're going out? "

daughter: " yes! "

mother: " with whom? "

daughter: " with a friend. "

mother: " i don't know why, you left your husband. he is such a good man. "

daughter: " i didn't leave. he left me! "

mother: " you let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. "

daughter: " i did not go out with anybody. "

mother: " i never left you to go out without anybody except your father. "

daughter: " there are lots of things that you did, and i don't. "

mother: " what are you hinting at? "

daughter: " nothing, i just want to know if i can bring the kids over tonight. "

mother: " you're going to stay the night with him? what will your husband say if he find out? "

daughter: " my EX husband, i don't think he would be brothered. from the day, he left me, he probably never slept alone! "

mother: " so, you're to sleep over at this loser's place. "

daughter: " he's not a loser."

mother: " a man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite. "

daughter: " i don't want to argue. should i bring over the kids or I ? "

mother: " poor children with such a mother. "

daughter: " such a what? "

mother: " with no stability. no wonder your husband left you. "

daughter: " ENOUGH!!!"

mother: " don't scream at me. you probably scream at this loser, too. "

daughter: " now you're worried about the loser? "

mother: " ah, so you see he's a loser. i spotted him immediately. "

daughter: " goodbye, mother. "

mother: " wait! don't hang up! where are you bringing them over? "

daughter: " i'm not bringing them over! i'm going out! "

mother: " if you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone? "


A Jewish Mother would say something like this, "Oh sure bring them over. I'm in the middle of painting the house, putting in a new garden, and doing the laundry, but, don't worry about me, they'll be just fine."

J.R.
IndieMonet727 On October 23, 2016




, Texas
#7New Post! Feb 25, 2013 @ 14:03:34
In my house its: "Mom, can you watch your kids tonight? I'm going out."


I want a Jewish mama!
alex_simms On April 30, 2020




Glastonbury, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Feb 25, 2013 @ 14:32:11
This not a joke.
I had friend over for supper and my mother(RIP) was cooking us steak and chips.
Before serving us, she said "What would you like with the food,some salad or vegetables?". We both said we wanted vegetables.
She looked quite offended and retorted with "So,what's wrong with the salad!!!!?"
Of course, was cracked up laughing
alex_simms On April 30, 2020




Glastonbury, United Kingdom
#9New Post! Feb 25, 2013 @ 14:33:23
@alex_simms Said

This not a joke.
I had friend over for supper and my mother(RIP) was cooking us steak and chips.
Before serving us, she said "What would you like with the food,some salad or vegetables?". We both said we wanted vegetables.
She looked quite offended and retorted with "So,what's wrong with the salad!!!!?"
Of course, was cracked up laughing


oooops,I forgot to say she was Jewish.
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