NEWS FLASH - MAJOR EARTHQUAKE STRIKES DUNDEE
A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE MEASURING 5.5 ON THE RICHTER
SCALE HIT DUNDEE IN THE EARLY HOURS OF SATURDAY.
EPICENTRE - WHITFIELD
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly
muttering " whit the ***K " and " Whaurd that comfae?" The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately ?30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of
momentos from the Baldovie Skip were damaged beyond
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were
disturbed and many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived.
Grampian news reported that hundreds
of residents were confused and bewildered, still
trying to come to terms with the fact that something of interest had happened in the area.
One resident Tracy Sharon Smith a 15yr old mother of
five-fae Ormiston Crescent said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Levi-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two,Tyler Morgan and Megan Chantelle slept through it all, as well as my great granny Lorraine.
I was still shaking when I was watching Tricia the next morning.
Apparently though looting, mugging and car crime did
carry on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos, loads of Provie cheques and bone china from Poundstretcher.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
Clothing is most sought after, the most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his & hers), shell suits (female) white sport socks, Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of colt 45 or special brew. 22p will buy a biro for filling in
compensation forms, ?2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine, ?5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
However, please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is very unfair on the neighbouring populations of Douglas, Fintry and St Mary's.