Just looking for opinions, seeking my lawyer's advice later

My ex was ordered supervised visitation with our 5 year old son. The visitation is to take place at my ex's mother's home. Before this order, she was suing me for grandparent's visitation even though I have never kept my son from her. She just stopped communicating with me and started seeing him only at my ex's home.

Since the supervised visit order, I believe she has dropped her suit. I was the one that was generous enough to allow the visitation to happen under her supervision instead of a court appointed person. I did this mainly to prove to her and the courts that I have no problem with her seeing my son.

That being said, I have an issue. My ex has not been using his visitation. My son is ordered to see his father every other weekend and every Tuesday night from 5pm to 8pm. For a parent, this visitation schedule is fine. But since my ex has not been showing up all the time, I feel it is excessive for a grandparent to see my son this much.

My husband and I are ordered to provide all the transportation for my son to and from his grandmother's house. There are many times upon drop off that I do not see my ex's car and it is NEVER there when I come to pick up my son.

Today I picked up my son from his weekend visit. I asked him if his father came to see him this weekend and he told me "Well not today. He came for a little bit yesterday but he didn't come see me today." Last Tuesday, I did not see my ex's car on drop off or pick up so I asked my son if his father came to see him. He told me no.

It's apparent that my ex is not spending the entire weekend with my son and he rarely uses his Tuesday nights which are HIGHLY inconvenient for my family. I feel that we should set a scheduled time on Saturdays and Sundays that my ex will visit my son at his grandmother's home.

I am wondering if I would be in the right to not allow my son to go to his grandmother's if his father is not there. These visits are for my ex and my son afterall, not my son's grandmother. I would be more than happy to set up visits for just her at more convenient and reasonable times. I feel that every other weekend and one evening a week is excessive for a grandparent, especially when my parents only see my son for a couple of hours every two weeks or so due to this arrangement.

I do plan on speaking to my attorney about this and asking if it's ok for me to take pictures with dates to show when his car is and isn't there and to document each time my son says his father didn't show up. I feel that this just proves that his father really doesn't want the visitation and I really don't want him to have it either.

This arrangement it totally disrupting our daily lives. We have two other small children whose schedules are constantly interrupted for pick ups and drop offs and if it's all for just a grandparent, I feel it's unecessary.

We went to court in the first place to seek a modification on how much visitation my ex gets and now he's pretty much proving that he doesn't want as much as he claims to in court or he'd be there every second. If the situations were reversed, I would call my son every day (he never calls our son), I would send cards and letters all the time (he has never done that either), and I would not spend a minute away from my son during our time together (he was always leaving my son with other people during his weekends so he could party).

To me, it's plain as day he doesn't really want to be a father, he just wants to inconvenience me and make me upset. I'm stuck as to what to do next that is legal. Is it legal to take pictures to prove he's not there? Is it legal to not drop off my son if he's not there? These are questions I plan to ask my attorney but I'm curious as to what you here have to say too. Thank you for any and all advice and I'm sorry this was so long!

The visitation is at the grandparents and it is there only for the purpose of her/him supervising the visit with the father of the child?

If he is not showing up, you do not have to bring your child to that location. She/he is not acting as a grandparent but as a legal supervisor for the purpose of visitation. It would be like bringing your son to a social worker who is going to supervise and the babies father not being there.

The grandparent may think it is a visit for them but it is not if there is no legal visitation with the grandparent.

I think if you fail to bring the child there, the grandparetn will take you to court for visitation, which is why one should never use a family member for supervision especially if that person was going to sue for visitation themselves.

I would tell the lawyer that you want it so the supervisor of the visitation picks up the child and drops the child off. Also advise that the father is not there for the visits.

Yes, it is at the grandmother's home for the purpose of supervising the visit between my son and his father. Not for a grandparent visit.

I have told my lawyer, the judge, and my son's grandmother that I have NO problem with my son visiting her at reasonable times. However, I feel every other weekend and an evening a week is too much for a simple grandparent visit.

If my son's father is not there, I don't feel I should have to leave my son. I felt that it would be the same as a court appointed person supervising the visitation. If my ex did not show up there, I wouldn't be required to leave my child with this person either.

That's why I think I'm going to push to have it supervised by a court appointed person and not a family member. I was trying to be nice to my ex and his mother by allowing this but I can see they are just using me again.

Also though, if I ask that my son's grandmother do the transportation, how will I know that my son's father is not showing up? My son's grandmother would not be honest with me since she hasn't been so far. She would just continue to use this time as her own personal visitation time. So I think having her do the transporting would be foolish.

I do not know where you live but where I am, it is two separate things. The person who supervises just happens to be the grandparent of the child and you are under no legal obligation to bring the child there to visit with her. If she has a court order then that is different but as it stands, she does not have one. I hope the laws are like that where you are.

I am sure she wants to see her grandchild but she needs to understand that is not her court appointed time, it is her son's court appointed time and has nothing legally to do with her. Emotions get in the way of her understanding the law perhaps.

It is really sad that the father does not want to see his own child. He should be moving heaven and earth to get to these visitations.

Well he does whenever I deny him visits. But that's just to keep inconveniencing me and making me upset. This man should be strung up by his toenails and jabbed with stick pins for the rest of eternity. He's pure evil. He should be in prison right now for molesting my child but instead, he's getting exactly what he wants. Visits with a kid he doesn't have to care for. And he can come and go as he pleases, not pay for food or toys or clothing, and just leave all the dirty work to his mother. And he's keeping my son away from me which is his favorite thing. Just now he doesn't have to be there to keep him away from me.

He's such a loser. I loathe him entirely. Can't wait til he dies from a drug overdose or something.