@rondetto Said 
Two tapeworms in a high ranking army officer.
One says to the other "What's up mate, you look really down?"
The other replies "Oh, nothing really, just life in General"
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We've started going to a faith healer who cures all ailments by simply standing next to you while you shout expletives at the top of your voice!
My wife swears by him!
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I bought my Nephew three socks for his Birthday as his Mum said He's grown another Foot this Year.
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I went to a funeral today, when I asked the priest for the wi-fi code. He shouted, "Have some respect for the dead". I said, "Is that in all lower case?"
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A Guy tried to sell me an “antique conker” the other day, but I wasn’t falling for that old chestnut.
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Nicotine patches are great.
Stick one over each eye and you can't find your ciggies.
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My family are arguing about the seating arrangements for Sunday's barbecue.
I'm not getting involved, I'm sitting on the fence.
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On a dating site, someone messaged me asking if I liked big women.
I said I never read sequels to classic novels.
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A bloke said to me today 'Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?'
I said 'No, they're mine'
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I bought one of them pre paid funeral a couple of months ago.
Yesterday I got a phone call from them to say they'd had a cancellation and they could fit me in next week.
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one night, arnold schwarzenegger said the woman next to him in his bed. " honey, i am affair with our maid! " then, the woman in the bed got up, and then, turn to arnold.
the woman got really angry, said to him. " i know you are having affair with your maid! moron, i am MAID! "
Oct 12, 2024 @ 15:19:32
