A Midsummer Homework Nightmare

This is our version of the second part of paragraph two, which is in post #15

They were impatient, as would be any red-blooded middle-aged couple for their nuptial day to arrive, five days hence on May 1, 1600. Theseus had just ordered Philostrate, his master of revelry, to devise some diversion to distract Hippolyta and him until their wedding day.

According to our English teacher, colors and age should not be separated from other adjectives by commas, so there is no comma between blooded and middle. Also, we're not sure that the period should come after 1600. Maybe it could come after arrive.

This is the earthy tale of loves impending nuptials, trickery mistaken identities, passion and celebration; which involve Fairies, Sprites, Noble-men and hard-handed laborers. It takes place in the ancient kingdom of Athens Greece where mens words are the law and the women's are subjugated to their will.

We think that post #17 should look like this.

"Ah, Hippolyta, my pert and noble bride-to-be, let us marry with pomp and much reveling. In other words, let us have a jolly good time of it, too."

"Yes, my wise and noble mate-to-be, you won me in battle. You wooed me with your sword. Let's make a merry joyous thing of our wedding. Let's stop the strife among are two nations and have a blast."

Or it could look like this.


"Ah, Hippolyta," Thesesu said, "my pert and noble bride-to-be, let us marry with pomp and much reveling. In other words, let us have a jolly good time of it, too."

"Yes," Hippolyta said, "my wise and noble mate-to-be, you won me in battle. You wooed me with your sword. Let's make a merry joyous thing of our wedding. Let's stop the strife among are two nations and have a blast."

Posting #17 was much more difficult than we thought it would be. Most of the people to whom we showed posting #17 didn't realize that it was two direct quotes, and therefore was two separate paragraphs.

The next paragraph might be even more difficult because it has extra words, which should be left out, words in the wrong place, which should be moved, and verbs in the wrong tense.

and suddenly they were interrupted by the arrival of egeus an angry father who lay before his ruler his rebellious daughter and the two young men who professed to love her a prodigious problem as egeus waxed angrier and angrier he explains that his daughter hermia a diminutive ball of fire is being wooed by two dudes lysander and demetrius and she would not except his choice of the 2

A lean version of posting #21.

Egeus arrived with a prodigious problem. He laid his rebellious daughter and the two young men who professed to love her before Theseus. As he waxed angrier, he explained that the two dudes, Lysander and Demetrius, wooed his daughter Hermia, a diminutive ball-of-fire, and she would not accept his choice of the two.

We have posted on this thread our English teacher?s daily exercises in editing, grammar, and style. Because the exercises are not in our school?s grammar book, we thought that the teacher wrote the exercises. Today, we learned that the exercises are in:

Jane Bell Kiester. The Chortling Bard. Maupin House Publishing. Gainsville, Florida. 2003.

Because the exercises are copyrighted information, we won?t post any more of them, but if other people want to continue the conversation by referring to the exercises in Kiester?s book by page number or by referring to exercises in similar books page number, we would be glad to read about how other people edit the exercises, and we will offer our opinion about how to edit the exercises

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