@rondetto Said 
DOCTOR: "Did you sleep with the window open like I told you?"
ME: "Yes doc. Wide open."
DOCTOR: "And has your bronchitis gone?"
ME: "No, but my laptop and mobile phone have."
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When I left school I decided to become a joiner.
Now I have 27 gym memberships and 300 library cards.
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My girlfriends sister sat on my glasses earlier and broke them.
With hindsight it was probably my fault, I should have taken them off first!
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My rum and raisin cake is gluten free. It's also raisin free. And cake free.
Oh Ok it's just rum.
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Two animals escaped from the local zoo earlier today, a giraffe and a mouse!! Police are hunting high and low!!
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"My wife's buying a house in southern France."
"Toulouse?"
"No, just one but there should be room to add an en-suite."
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Just read a book titled 'How to Survive Falling Down a Staircase'
It's a step by step guide.
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Some sad news today.
My Ventriloquist Dummy has left me after 40 years..It was a complete Golt out of the Glue.
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Paddy says to Mick "Oi've got sometin' stuck in me throat and oi can't breath properly!"
Mick says "Are yer choakin?"
Paddy replies "No, I'm bloomin' serious!
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When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?”
I said, “No, not particularly."
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this winter, during the holidays. in new york, i got hit by a 16 feet blizzard. all the communities and the red cross helped out and look for survivors.
one day during this crisis, neighbors of blocks was were about one couple's house. they told searchers, the house under 16 feet of snow. the couple must be
still inside it. the searchers found the house buried, took hours to buried it
out.
the old couple was alive,but with blankets on them. they were sill shivering to death. all sudden, the front door was bust in, and three men came in with shoves.
one of them looked at the old man, and said; " we are from the red cross !! " and old man looked at the man and said: " we all ready gave! "
Aug 08, 2024 @ 12:27:33
