A few more

@rondetto Said

When I was a about 10 years old my Mum said to me " Why don't you grow up Stupid"
So I did.

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I asked a carpet fitter to do a runner for me.
I paid him up front and that's the last I saw of him.

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I raised hundreds of pounds at my Bronchitis Support charity event last night.
Everybody coughed up.

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A friend of mine had a blackout at the airport yesterday. He collapsed on to the carousel. It took a while for him to come around again.

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My wife I rang me to say she'd seen a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on the way to it's work. I don't know why but she slammed the phone down on me.

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A guy in Portugal just tried to sell me Ronaldo's football boots.
I think he must be one of those penalty shoe touts.

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My friend is such a big fan of the Royal Family, each of his four sons are named after a king.
**Henry**
**George**
**Charles**
**Burger**

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This chicken said to me: “I can’t find my eggs!”
I said: “You’ve probably mislaid them."

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