Quickies

@rondetto Said

I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
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I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny, you couldn't swing a cat in there.
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I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have a skip outside my house?" He said, "Sure, skip, hop, jump, whatever!"
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So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."
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I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on and on.
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I knocked on the door of a B&B, the landlady opened the bedroom window upstairs and said "Can I help you?". I asked "Can I stay here?" She said "yes" and closed the window.
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