Depression

@DiscordTiger Said

I’m about 95% sure I have it. This week has made it obvious, even to others.

I’ve gotten through it in the past by powering through and some self medicating.

I’m so f***ing exhausted, I don’t even know where to ask for help.

@restoreone Said

I can feel for you with the cultural thing. In both my cultures. A warrior knows how to deal with it.

As far as mobility have you thought about a scooter to get around.Even though I have the Iongen g4 I still have to drag it around. My kids make me wear my life alert 24/7 now. Also they can track my Iphone Going up just a slight incline can sometimes take my breath away.
For me and maybe for you being confined brings on the depression.
Maybe you can use a rollator

@DiscordTiger Said

I don’t know anyone regularly going to therapy.

Part of it is the stigma behind it and in some cultural biases.

In an intellectual way, I know that’s crap. To be honest, I’ve been letting it be my excuse to keep avoiding it

Part of me likes the suffering. Simply because it’s been there so long it’s normal and an old friend.

I might have a group through work, that gives recommendations. Again I had neen using my struggle with mobility be an excuse to avoid doing things... but that at least has improved a lot in the past month. I went roaming around campus Thursday for the first time in like years. There was an earth/sustainability fair I wanted to see.
And taco trucks. Though I didn’t actually have tacos, I just support more taco trucks everywhere.

I’ve been very food motivated, to the point of unhealthyness. My self-medicating of choice. I don’t know if that’s completely avoidable, simply because unlike drugs or alcohol, food is necessary for survival.

Thanks. I’m a mess today... but I know I have to do something about it.

@Eaglebauer Said

I understand a lot of this.

When I've been depressed, I have often not wanted people to give me advice...suggest things that might help...try to make it easy for me to feel better. I just wanted to let someone know I was feeling s***ty and...feel s***ty. Don't try to make it better, just LISTEN and let me validate it.

And a professional counselor can understand that too.

I was hospitalized for clinical depression once upon a time and I fought hard against it. I didn't want to be there...I didn't want to get better...but after about a week and a half for the first time in my life up to that point, I felt like I belonged somewhere. And it was because I was with a bunch of other people who were just as confused and lost as I was, some of them much, much more so.

In my case, luckily enough for me, it was a chemical imbalance that was relatively easy to correct over a period of time but it came with a mandated year long relationship with a psychologist after I was released. I learned more from that man than I have from all of my schooling combined and I wish to God I knew where he was today, some 27 years hence so I could explain to him just how much of a monumental difference he made in my life.

You need to treat yourself the way you would treat someone else whom you love dearly. Ask yourself if your husband or a loved family member were going through this if you would look down on him/her for seeking professional help or if you would encourage it and tell that person to go easier on him/herself.

You're going to be okay. I have told you so many times you're one of the strongest people I've ever known. But there's no shame in taking help when you need it. There is actually a lot of strength in that, too.

@DiscordTiger Said

I appreciate this.

I can't handle making a real response to this...bit of a total crisis/stress day
But I appreciate it