@twilitezone911 Said
this probably wasn't in the bible, but i heard rumor this really happened.
when jesus was on the cross, waiting to to die. one of the few conservation that he had with peter.
jesus was looking around the area, see a village, not far away. jesus calls out for peter. peter rush over jesus's feet, looks up to jesus. " what it is, jesus? "
jesus look down at peter and said, " peter, peter, i can see your house from here. "
There's a version of the following story being considered for the "3rd Testament":
Things are getting pretty bad in the early 1800s in the American mid-west.
So God tells Jesus to go back down to Earth and straighten things out... give hope to the desolate, put fear into the debaucherous ... you know, typical stuff.
There's a rancher at a lake, watering what's left of his heard after a devastating disease and famine wiped out 95% of his cattle.
Jesus appears to him and tells him to "Have hope, believe in me and all will be well"
The down and out, the skeptical rancher says Prove you're the savior, Jesus.
Jesus replies, What will make you believe in me?
The rancher stops and thinks a minute, then says -
If you're really Jesus you can walk on water, so go walk out on the lake.
Jesus agrees and starts to walk into the lake. He get's a few feet out and "Splash" he falls in.
He walks back out of the lake and says "Must be these goddamned holes in my feet"
(Yeah, yeah ... my "special place" is probably somewhere between the women who didn't vote for Hillary, and the men who harass women)