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Verbal abuse and Emotional Manipulation

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treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker

Moderator




London, United Kingdom
#76New Post! Jun 10, 2011 @ 20:10:11
@Mysteria Said

Just a question: Would it be okay if your loved ones treated you like a second class citizen, but they gave you money to make up for it (in their opinion)?

It's kinda like the question on the book I'm reading, "After all I've done for you, how can you be so selfish?" (I can just hear my mother telling me, "I guess you'll remember that next time you don't have any money." when I said that my son and I just want to be ourselves.)



no, its not ok.

I think you personally are in a place most people wont find themselves. I can say to you that its your choice to put up with the way they treat you, that you should walk away from them.

But i also understand that it is not always possible to walk away particularly if you have kids and it would mean they suffer. Its natural for a parent to sacrifice thier happiness so that a child is not suffering.

One thing I have learned is that with family, with loved ones, they can only hurt you to a point and when it is gone it is gone forever and you can never get it back.

Whatever will be, will be.
Mysteria On May 19, 2014
I Am Rogue!





A Small Town, Texas
#77New Post! Jun 10, 2011 @ 20:19:32
@treebee Said

no, its not ok.

I think you personally are in a place most people wont find themselves. I can say to you that its your choice to put up with the way they treat you, that you should walk away from them.

But i also understand that it is not always possible to walk away particularly if you have kids and it would mean they suffer. Its natural for a parent to sacrifice thier happiness so that a child is not suffering.

One thing I have learned is that with family, with loved ones, they can only hurt you to a point and when it is gone it is gone forever and you can never get it back.

Whatever will be, will be.


I think a lot of this is my fault for putting up with it for years. They do use fear to keep me under their thumbs. Her statement actually scared me because I don't have a partner to help me if my car breaks down and I'm stranded somewhere. Sometimes my dogs will get sick and I'll have a huge vet bill, etc. I also worried about making them mad at me because I've been afraid they'd take it out on my son. My dad actually has. Jason told me not to worry about that anymore because if they attack him, he will just never speak to them again.

I'm still searching for a job so that this won't continue. I've already found a side job but that won't be enough to carry me through.
treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker

Moderator




London, United Kingdom
#78New Post! Jun 10, 2011 @ 20:26:57
@Mysteria Said

I think a lot of this is my fault for putting up with it for years. They do use fear to keep me under their thumbs. Her statement actually scared me because I don't have a partner to help me if my car breaks down and I'm stranded somewhere. Sometimes my dogs will get sick and I'll have a huge vet bill, etc. I also worried about making them mad at me because I've been afraid they'd take it out on my son. My dad actually has. Jason told me not to worry about that anymore because if they attack him, he will just never speak to them again.

I'm still searching for a job so that this won't continue. I've already found a side job but that won't be enough to carry me through.


families are supposed to nourish, nurture and love, I am genuinely sad that your family seem to give you a hard time every step of the way, I do hope that you can get in a place where you can walk away from it all.
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#79New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 03:52:35
Just so everyone knows, my previous comment about people who complain about abuse but then go out and abuse is just a general statement. I have found that at times, when we are verbally abused, we take so much of it and give it back to the person who is doing it to us and I understand that. This thread made me think in general of the people who complain that they themselves are verbally abused, belittled, treated meanly etc but they themselves have either started it or been that way with innocent people. I also do not mean having a bad day and taking it out on someone and doing that a rare time but people who can only point out the ways they are mistreated but do not acknowledge that on a regular basis they are mistreating others, being verbally abusive, belittling people etc.
boxerdc On December 18, 2012

Deleted



,
#80New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 05:46:09
Quick question..

did the title of this thread change or am I getting senile?
Electric_Banana On February 05, 2024




, New Zealand
#81New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 06:18:20
@boxerdc Said

Quick question..

did the title of this thread change or am I getting senile?



Title changed.
Mysteria On May 19, 2014
I Am Rogue!





A Small Town, Texas
#82New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 08:23:27
@boxerdc Said

Quick question..

did the title of this thread change or am I getting senile?



I asked treebee to edit the title. This one is more appropriate.
Electric_Banana On February 05, 2024




, New Zealand
#83New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 08:38:37
My life story has been everyone and everything telling me how useless my existence is but I'm never granted an exit door.

But then I realized that if I had an exit door, no one would have anything to complain about.

So I'm kept alive for something to complain about.

I think there's something in the Bible that says something similar to this.
boxerdc On December 18, 2012

Deleted



,
#84New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 13:28:47
@Electric_Banana Said

Title changed.



@Mysteria Said

I asked treebee to edit the title. This one is more appropriate.


Thanks.. I thought I was losing my mind.
Mysteria On May 19, 2014
I Am Rogue!





A Small Town, Texas
#85New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 16:27:44
@Electric_Banana Said

My life story has been everyone and everything telling me how useless my existence is but I'm never granted an exit door.

But then I realized that if I had an exit door, no one would have anything to complain about.

So I'm kept alive for something to complain about.

I think there's something in the Bible that says something similar to this.


You aren't useless. I don't know why people are so cruel.

@boxerdc Said

Thanks.. I thought I was losing my mind.


No problem. May I have one of those cookies? I've got milk.
CannyMind On January 08, 2015




Glasgow, United Kingdom
#86New Post! Jun 11, 2011 @ 16:47:07
@Electric_Banana Said

My life story has been everyone and everything telling me how useless my existence is but I'm never granted an exit door.

But then I realized that if I had an exit door, no one would have anything to complain about.

So I'm kept alive for something to complain about.

I think there's something in the Bible that says something similar to this.


"...At the start you had a heart
But in the end you lost your friend
Can you see your own dark face?
It's dying in a lonely place

Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you

As we get old, we lose our place
Reflecting back the world's disgrace
I feel so low, I feel so humble
Sometimes in life we take a tumble
Don't let anybody tell you that you're no good
Cause you know they would

Don't let anybody tell you what you should do
Cause it's not that way and..."

"Face Up" - New Order.

If anyone looks down on you - more fool them - I wouldn't give too f**ks about their view!
dylangreen On September 10, 2011




Plymouth, United Kingdom
#87New Post! Aug 26, 2011 @ 05:15:42
@Mysteria Said

What does verbal abuse mean to YOU? Do you believe that in order to be a victim of verbal abuse, one has to be called names?

In my opinion, a person can be verbally abused with or without name calling.



my guess would be: emotional stress or trauma that is caused in a verbal manner

- dylan
outreachcasemanager2017 On April 07, 2017




Brenham, Texas
#88New Post! Apr 06, 2017 @ 21:47:08
@Mysteria Said

What does verbal abuse mean to YOU? Do you believe that in order to be a victim of verbal abuse, one has to be called names?

In my opinion, a person can be verbally abused with or without name calling.


anything said to manipulate that other person for power and control
Erimitus On July 01, 2021




The mind of God, Antarctica
#89New Post! Apr 06, 2017 @ 23:23:55
@outreachcasemanager2017 Said

anything said to manipulate that other person for power and control



Proposition: That which is said in order to manipulate another person is verbal abuse.

Premise: Verbal manipulation is abuse.

Manipulation is an unscrupulous attempt to control another person.

Verbal Abuse is the use of words with the intention of causing pain and suffering in order to control another person for a selfish purpose.

It seems to me that if my definitions are correct then your definition is correct.

It seems to me that almost all people are sophists in one way or another.

It is the indifference to causing unnecessary harm that is abusive.

There are abusive people

Question: how do we deal with them?
Erimitus On July 01, 2021




The mind of God, Antarctica
#90New Post! Apr 06, 2017 @ 23:32:18
@Electric_Banana Said

My life story has been everyone and everything telling me how useless my existence is but I'm never granted an exit door.

But then I realized that if I had an exit door, no one would have anything to complain about.

So I'm kept alive for something to complain about.

I think there's something in the Bible that says something similar to this.



Banana (if you are still out there) try reading Sartre's play "No Exit".

It is kind of like a Twilight Zone episode. or, I suppose, a Twilight Zone episode is kind of like Sartre's play.

Anyway, it suggests that even if the was an exit we would not use it.
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