Some interesting points and I take them on board entirely. It just goes to show how two people can read and interpret something quite differently.
As the parent of a small child - albeit not yet of school age - I can see your points about wanting to instil good habits by example. And yes, rolling the eyes is a girl thing. I used to do it all the time to my mother <laughing>.
My little girl is a little too young to have perfected the art of eye rolling, but I'm sure she'll get there in the fullness of time. I don't mind. If that's the worst thing she ever does to me as a parent, I'll figure I've got off pretty lightly.
But getting back to the issue at hand, a three mile walk may not be a big deal to a healthy, fully grown adult but to a small child it is significantly more difficult and it's quite possible that the child could become physically distressed. Once again, it's about proportion. As the saying goes: Walk a mile in the other person's shoes....
When I see articles such as this, I ask myself, would I do this to my own little girl..? Would my parents have done this to me..? The answer is no on both counts. And yet, I have no difficulty keeping good time.
I appreciate you have your way of doing things and I have mine. It's good that we can relate our differences. But when you say "The punishment fits the crime", I think that calling it a crime at all is somewhat excessive. I read it as a simple case of childish negligence, or forgetfulness or perhaps even naughtiness. But crime..? Isn't that a bit strong..? I think that attaching an excessive interpretation to an event leads to making an inappropriate response.
I also take your final point too, about "how many times does it take... etc". Well, I don't think it will get that far with my daughter. She can be a little madam at times for sure. But she is smart and learns quickly. She's realised that good behaviour and doing things when she's told to do them gains approval.... smiles from mummy.... and occasionally, reward. Bad behaviour is not approved of.
Example: When she painted on the lounge wall once, I made it pretty clear that she'd been naughty. Then I told her that she wouldn't be going to the swimming pool that day (she loves the swimming pool.... she's a real water baby..!!) because I now had to spend the time when we should have been going out, cleaning the paint off the lounge wall.
I left her to mull on that while I cleaned the wall (actually, it didn't take long) but after that, we sat down and painted together on paper. She'd been upset by not going to the pool... so the message had sunk in...... but a punishment can only go on for so long. Once it has had its desired effect it should be over. Not needlessly prolonged
She painted a picture for me. I told her how clever she was, and that I loved it. I gave her a big hug then I put it on the fridge door (every mothers' art gallery is her fridge door, right..?). We went to the swimming pool the next day. She hasn't painted on the lounge wall since, but now you can't see the fridge door for "Megan Pollocks" as my wife calls them.
Do you think I was soft on her..? I don't think so. She was made to know that she'd been naughty and that naughtiness carries a penalty. But even when she is being punished, she is still loved and that mummy will teach her how to do things the right way with fun.... and that doing things the right way gains approval instead of punishment. I think what I did was appropriate and that it had the desired effect in that it has (so far, lol) corrected the improper behaviour.
Kids.... who'd have 'em, eh..? <laughing>
No I don't think that kids missing the school bus is criminal or a crime, but, you can't quote something if you are gong to change it .
We don't know the age of either of the girls , I did mention in my OP something about if they were young very children then I don't agree with making them walk 3 miles, but if they are 8 or 9 or older then I have no problem. When my youngest ,my daughter, was in first grade we walked 2 miles out to catch the bus and the same back home after school, even after the 2 miles first thing in the morning and all day at school my kids would take that 2 miles home like a walk in the park . their ages were 6,8 and 9 , they all ate like they had a bottomless pit attached to two hollow logs and made me often wish that I had their energy and they had mine , but there were no negative affects from the walking .
It's strange that when I see other peoples daughters giving them that look that says ' how did I
get stuck with these parents 'accompanied with that eye roll, I find it amusing but, when it was directed at me from my daughter, I wanted to thump her , I guess she knew this ,because she always waited till she was out of reach to roll those eyes.
When kids are young and their world is made up of four walls << their home << and their parents, it's never 'to soft' to take away something they enjoy when they have done something like tagging a wall . Getting them to understand that 'it' is unacceptable and then showing them how to do 'it' the right way , walls - unacceptable ,paper - the right way .
It's when a parent is wishy washy with their lessons that a kid will become confused and then the 'fun' <<pun<< rally get started , by wishy washy I mean like if last week she tagged the walls and you dealt with like you did , but next week she does the same thing and you just laugh it off like it's acceptable . If she does the wall painting again at an older age, then yes ,you cleaning it up and sitting with her and some paper, would be IMO 'to soft'.
I realize you are a first time mommy and she is still about as sweet as honey . I'm not trying to jinx you ,I'm just stating facts . but there will come a time when she has figured out just where you draw the lines about what's acceptable and what isn't and she will push the envelope ,sometimes just because she can
and others times just because she wants to ,,,,
If you do nothing else , be sure that your kid never doubt's you love her , it is the one most important thing a parent has to do. just saying.