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Woman Faces Charges for Making Her Kids Walk to School

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Jennifer1984 On September 16, 2021
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#16New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 17:31:36
@shadowen Said

We used to dream of living in a septic tank. It would have been a palace to us. 57 of us used to live in an old sock in a stagnant puddle of water. We used to get up half an hour before we went to bed, eat a handful of hot gravel for breakfast before licking the road clean with our tongues. We would then work 23 hr days, week-in week-out in mill and pay the mill owner for the privilege of working there. And then when we got home our Dad would slice us up into a 1000 pieces and dance over our graves singing "happy times are here again".



Monty Python did that gag about forty years ago (before I was born..!!). Still, it's good to see that humour has finally made it to Australia .


Jennifer1984 On September 16, 2021
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#17New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 17:44:00
@white_swan53 Said

Did you find a site about this story with more info about this ? If so would you link to it ?
I ask because the article I linked to gave no info on the age of the girls , did state that there were 2 daughters and only said that the mom will face the charges when she goes t court , nothing was said about her being arrested.
In my OP I mentioned that lack of details/info in the article and suggested that if the mom had been arrested the media would spin the story in an ugly light , reporting on the horrible mom and her poor daughters etc.....

You say that you would handle the missed bus with an "Oh dear, how sad, never mind. " attitude and went on to add " In future, " statement . If a kid is missing the school bus because she hasn't developed any time management skills , your handling of the situation will just reinforce what will quickly become a habit , a bad habit . The kid learns that mom will take up her slack and totally adopt the attitude of Oh dear, how sad, oh well, never mind not my problem ,,,mom will deal with the effects of my ripples .
No set boundaries or discipline makes for a very unhappy kid .



I'm afraid I don't have another site to refer to. I accept that you didn't say the woman was arrested. I confess that was a bit of presumption on my part. My bad (slaps own wrist) but it's a reasonable assumption to make on the grounds that a woman driving along the road so slowly that she remains just a few yards in front of walking children is likely to attract the attention of any passing police officer. And if not, then it begs the question as to how did this matter come to their notice..? I figure you'll see where I'm coming from.

I fully accept that children without boundaries or discipline are likely to have problems in later life. I couldn't agree more. The issue is; what is a proportionate response.

If an adult responds to every instance of naughty or forgetful behaviour with the proverbial "big stick", then the child learns only to fear the parent. Is that what you call good parenting..?

You know I love my Shakespeare quotes so how about this one:

If little faults proceeding on distemper
Shall not be winked at, how shall we stretch our eye
When capital crimes, chewed, swallowed, and digested,
Appear before us?


In other words, save the (metaphorical) big stick for when it is really needed. Treat trivial matters with an adequate, but not excessive, response. If done properly the child will still get the message and will also grow up with a sense of proportion.
boxer On June 16, 2016

Deleted
Banned



, Zimbabwe
#18New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 19:30:23



All I know is that it's a good thing you're not a parent.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#19New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 23:18:02
@Jennifer1984 Said

I'm afraid I don't have another site to refer to. I accept that you didn't say the woman was arrested. I confess that was a bit of presumption on my part. My bad (slaps own wrist) but it's a reasonable assumption to make on the grounds that a woman driving along the road so slowly that she remains just a few yards in front of walking children is likely to attract the attention of any passing police officer. And if not, then it begs the question as to how did this matter come to their notice..? I figure you'll see where I'm coming from.

I fully accept that children without boundaries or discipline are likely to have problems in later life. I couldn't agree more. The issue is; what is a proportionate response.

If an adult responds to every instance of naughty or forgetful behaviour with the proverbial "big stick", then the child learns only to fear the parent. Is that what you call good parenting..?

You know I love my Shakespeare quotes so how about this one:

If little faults proceeding on distemper
Shall not be winked at, how shall we stretch our eye
When capital crimes, chewed, swallowed, and digested,
Appear before us?


In other words, save the (metaphorical) big stick for when it is really needed. Treat trivial matters with an adequate, but not excessive, response. If done properly the child will still get the message and will also grow up with a sense of proportion.




I am sure ,even though it is not hinted at or stated in the article, that the act of mom driving 50 yards or so and parking on the side of the road , repeatedly was what caught the attention of the cops.
It seems that the majority ,75 %,of the people who have read this short article think it is " Ridiculous" and after reading some of the comments, what they think is ridiculous are the child neglect charges.
The very fact that the mom was found about 50 yards away from her daughters . It seems and this is pure assumption on my part, what mom was doing ,was driving ahead and pulling over and parking on the shoulder of the road to wait for the girls to 'catch up' then mom would drive ahead again ,pull over, park, wait ,repeat . If I'm assuming correctly, mom was not obstructing traffic at any time and the girls were never out of mom sight, that cancels out the child neglect charge. And since mom wasn't cited for obstructing traffic, it's a safe bet that she wasn't obstructing traffic. I haven't read every comment but haven't come across anyone disagreeing with the driving without a license charge,
I personally think that making her daughters walk to school as punishment for missing the bus is a case of ' the punishment fits the crime' so to speak . In the short term , It teaches the girls that managing their time in a way that allows them to catch the bus is important, in the long term , good time management skills is a very important part of life as an adult . the mom choose a way to teach her daughters a very important lesson on responsibility , time management , and being where they need to be at a certain time of day all without any pain or suffering for the girls. And really can anyone disagree that there are health benefits to a 3 mile walk ?
So in this instance there as no " proverbial "big stick" used , there was nothing to instill fear of their parent in the girls .. It could be assumed that the walk may have made the girls roll their eyes and use a grumpy tone of voice when talking about mom making them walk.
But eye rolling is a girl thing , I know this because I raised a girl . My girl rolled her eyes at everything that she didn't appreciate ,it started about the time she learned to walk and talk . By the time she hit her pre teens, she had perfected the act of eye rolling to a fine art.( to the annoyance of just about every male in her world )

For my own FYI, in your opinion , how many times of missing the bus would it take for the act of 'missing the bus ' to stop being a trivial matter and become a real problem for who ever was responsible for getting the girls to school on time ? a few weeks, months , a couple of levels /years ?
Leon On about 5 hours ago




San Diego, California
#20New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 23:18:03
I'm pretty sure that the initial reaction by these police were that she was driving without a license and breaking road rules at that. Then they saw the reason she was and decided to slap her with that as well, although this was probably unnecessary. Either way, I doubt she would have been charged with the latter if it weren't for the former.

Making the kids walk to school for 3 miles might be a bit excessive, but if it were 1 mile or less, I'd definitely do that. It is much better than spanking, as it teaches the direct consequence for a failure. If it were 3 miles, perhaps making the kids pay for a city bus (and going with them) might be a similar solution, or tasking the kids with additional household chores that evening for the lost time the parent had in driving the kids to school instead. Things like that.
restoreone On November 27, 2020




, Ohio
#21New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 23:47:50
Seems to be several different stories as to the why.
https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2016/apr/01/mother-charged-neglect-making-children-walk-s/358210/


https://kfor.com/2016/04/02/mother-charged-with-neglect-after-making-children-walk-to-school/
DiscordTiger On August 23, 2021
The Queen of Random

Administrator




Emerald City, United States (g
#22New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 23:50:03
https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2016/apr/01/mother-charged-neglect-making-children-walk-s/358210/
DiscordTiger On August 23, 2021
The Queen of Random

Administrator




Emerald City, United States (g
#23New Post! Apr 05, 2016 @ 23:50:43
@restoreone Said

Seems to be several different stories as to the why.
https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2016/apr/01/mother-charged-neglect-making-children-walk-s/358210/


https://kfor.com/2016/04/02/mother-charged-with-neglect-after-making-children-walk-to-school/



lol we were literally googling the same thing at the same time.
restoreone On November 27, 2020




, Ohio
#24New Post! Apr 06, 2016 @ 00:08:42
@DiscordTiger Said

lol we were literally googling the same thing at the same time.


Play the Mega millions tonight.The odds of this happening has to be way

up there.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#25New Post! Apr 06, 2016 @ 03:14:04
@restoreone Said

Seems to be several different stories as to the why.
https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2016/apr/01/mother-charged-neglect-making-children-walk-s/358210/


https://kfor.com/2016/04/02/mother-charged-with-neglect-after-making-children-walk-to-school/



Thanks for the links.
They don't give very much more details then what we already have .
I still don't get the child neglect charge.
This story is starting to resemble stories that in recent years have cops and CPS stepping in, removing children , arresting parents , bringing charges all based solely on whether or not they agree with a parents choices on child rearing. Seldom if ever on the safety or well being of the child.

Free Range Children Arrest

FAQ | Free Range Kids


Maryland parents investigated by the police for letting their kids walk home alone.
Jennifer1984 On September 16, 2021
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#26New Post! Apr 06, 2016 @ 13:57:20
@white_swan53 Said

I am sure ,even though it is not hinted at or stated in the article, that the act of mom driving 50 yards or so and parking on the side of the road , repeatedly was what caught the attention of the cops.
It seems that the majority ,75 %,of the people who have read this short article think it is " Ridiculous" and after reading some of the comments, what they think is ridiculous are the child neglect charges.
The very fact that the mom was found about 50 yards away from her daughters . It seems and this is pure assumption on my part, what mom was doing ,was driving ahead and pulling over and parking on the shoulder of the road to wait for the girls to 'catch up' then mom would drive ahead again ,pull over, park, wait ,repeat . If I'm assuming correctly, mom was not obstructing traffic at any time and the girls were never out of mom sight, that cancels out the child neglect charge. And since mom wasn't cited for obstructing traffic, it's a safe bet that she wasn't obstructing traffic. I haven't read every comment but haven't come across anyone disagreeing with the driving without a license charge,
I personally think that making her daughters walk to school as punishment for missing the bus is a case of ' the punishment fits the crime' so to speak . In the short term , It teaches the girls that managing their time in a way that allows them to catch the bus is important, in the long term , good time management skills is a very important part of life as an adult . the mom choose a way to teach her daughters a very important lesson on responsibility , time management , and being where they need to be at a certain time of day all without any pain or suffering for the girls. And really can anyone disagree that there are health benefits to a 3 mile walk ?
So in this instance there as no " proverbial "big stick" used , there was nothing to instill fear of their parent in the girls .. It could be assumed that the walk may have made the girls roll their eyes and use a grumpy tone of voice when talking about mom making them walk.
But eye rolling is a girl thing , I know this because I raised a girl . My girl rolled her eyes at everything that she didn't appreciate ,it started about the time she learned to walk and talk . By the time she hit her pre teens, she had perfected the act of eye rolling to a fine art.( to the annoyance of just about every male in her world )

For my own FYI, in your opinion , how many times of missing the bus would it take for the act of 'missing the bus ' to stop being a trivial matter and become a real problem for who ever was responsible for getting the girls to school on time ? a few weeks, months , a couple of levels /years ?



Some interesting points and I take them on board entirely. It just goes to show how two people can read and interpret something quite differently.

As the parent of a small child - albeit not yet of school age - I can see your points about wanting to instil good habits by example. And yes, rolling the eyes is a girl thing. I used to do it all the time to my mother <laughing>.

My little girl is a little too young to have perfected the art of eye rolling, but I'm sure she'll get there in the fullness of time. I don't mind. If that's the worst thing she ever does to me as a parent, I'll figure I've got off pretty lightly.

But getting back to the issue at hand, a three mile walk may not be a big deal to a healthy, fully grown adult but to a small child it is significantly more difficult and it's quite possible that the child could become physically distressed. Once again, it's about proportion. As the saying goes: Walk a mile in the other person's shoes....

When I see articles such as this, I ask myself, would I do this to my own little girl..? Would my parents have done this to me..? The answer is no on both counts. And yet, I have no difficulty keeping good time.

I appreciate you have your way of doing things and I have mine. It's good that we can relate our differences. But when you say "The punishment fits the crime", I think that calling it a crime at all is somewhat excessive. I read it as a simple case of childish negligence, or forgetfulness or perhaps even naughtiness. But crime..? Isn't that a bit strong..? I think that attaching an excessive interpretation to an event leads to making an inappropriate response.

I also take your final point too, about "how many times does it take... etc". Well, I don't think it will get that far with my daughter. She can be a little madam at times for sure. But she is smart and learns quickly. She's realised that good behaviour and doing things when she's told to do them gains approval.... smiles from mummy.... and occasionally, reward. Bad behaviour is not approved of.

Example: When she painted on the lounge wall once, I made it pretty clear that she'd been naughty. Then I told her that she wouldn't be going to the swimming pool that day (she loves the swimming pool.... she's a real water baby..!!) because I now had to spend the time when we should have been going out, cleaning the paint off the lounge wall.

I left her to mull on that while I cleaned the wall (actually, it didn't take long) but after that, we sat down and painted together on paper. She'd been upset by not going to the pool... so the message had sunk in...... but a punishment can only go on for so long. Once it has had its desired effect it should be over. Not needlessly prolonged

She painted a picture for me. I told her how clever she was, and that I loved it. I gave her a big hug then I put it on the fridge door (every mothers' art gallery is her fridge door, right..?). We went to the swimming pool the next day. She hasn't painted on the lounge wall since, but now you can't see the fridge door for "Megan Pollocks" as my wife calls them.

Do you think I was soft on her..? I don't think so. She was made to know that she'd been naughty and that naughtiness carries a penalty. But even when she is being punished, she is still loved and that mummy will teach her how to do things the right way with fun.... and that doing things the right way gains approval instead of punishment. I think what I did was appropriate and that it had the desired effect in that it has (so far, lol) corrected the improper behaviour.

Kids.... who'd have 'em, eh..? <laughing>
Hitting40 On November 20, 2016




The middle of nowhere, United
#27New Post! Apr 06, 2016 @ 14:06:47
@Jennifer1984 Said



I appreciate you have your way of doing things and I have mine. It's good that we can relate our differences. But when you say "The punishment fits the crime", I think that calling it a crime at all is somewhat excessive. I read it as a simple case of childish negligence, or forgetfulness or perhaps even naughtiness. But crime..? Isn't that a bit strong..? I think that attaching an excessive interpretation to an event leads to making an inappropriate response.




I believe it is just a saying/analogy.
Jennifer1984 On September 16, 2021
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#28New Post! Apr 06, 2016 @ 14:09:52
@Hitting40 Said

I believe it is just a saying/analogy.



I agree, but in this case, a poor one. In my opinion.
Hitting40 On November 20, 2016




The middle of nowhere, United
#29New Post! Apr 06, 2016 @ 14:11:28
@Jennifer1984 Said

I agree, but in this case, a poor one. In my opinion.



It works for me.
Jennifer1984 On September 16, 2021
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#30New Post! Apr 06, 2016 @ 14:18:33
@Hitting40 Said

It works for me.



That's cool. But put it another way....if you see what your children do as crime, then does that not make them criminals in your eyes..?

How do you think they would feel about that..?


I know I'm pushing the envelope on this one now, but I'm doing it for the purpose of exploring the argument of excessive / inappropriate response.
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