deanlad
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, United Kingdom Joined: Aug 2008 |
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so, four years ago this coming monday, my dad (mick skis) died. my girlfriend at the time came down for the funeral. ends up she slept with my brother after the funeral and tried to pass the kid off as mine until it was five months old. my brother and her are still together. tomorrow (28th september) is my birthday and instead of my brother asking if i wanted to do anything, he invited her down for the weekend. am i wrong to think that im absolutely f***ing worthless? | |
chaski
Stalker
| Yes. You are wrong. It would seem that you have far more value than your brother and/or your former girlfriend. |
deanlad
| @deanlad Said so, four years ago this coming monday, my dad (mick skis) died. my girlfriend at the time came down for the funeral. ends up she slept with my brother after the funeral and tried to pass the kid off as mine until it was five months old. my brother and her are still together. tomorrow (28th september) is my birthday and instead of my brother asking if i wanted to do anything, he invited her down for the weekend. am i wrong to think that im absolutely f***ing worthless?
@chaski Said
Yes. You are wrong. It would seem that you have far more value than your brother and/or your former girlfriend.
its hard for me, im bipolar and have thoughts of worthlessness a lot but this has been like a massive kick in the gut. i no after wat he did, it shouldnt hurt but he is epileptic and everytime he has needed me, ive been there and then he does this |
someone_else_again
Really. Not a dude.
| @deanlad Said
its hard for me, im bipolar and have thoughts of worthlessness a lot but this has been like a massive kick in the gut. i no after wat he did, it shouldnt hurt but he is epileptic and everytime he has needed me, ive been there and then he does this
Then that only amplifies what Chaski already said. You are far more valuable.
There is absolutely no reason why it shouldn't hurt though. He's your brother and isn't acting like it despite the fact that you did. That's his problem, not yours.
I don't know if it would help but does your brother understand how that makes you feel? |
deanlad
| i did tell him im upset but i cant get into my emotions with him. he tries to help with my depression but he just cant understand how i feel every day. i couldnt tell him how much he has hurt me, he wouldnt listen |
someone_else_again
Really. Not a dude.
| @deanlad Said
i did tell him im upset but i cant get into my emotions with him. he tries to help with my depression but he just cant understand how i feel every day. i couldnt tell him how much he has hurt me, he wouldnt listen
No, it's pretty hard for a non-depressed person to understand depression. It's also far too easy for them to dismiss the depression as being an attention-seeking ploy or just a person being overly dramatic or emotional.
I'm sorry that you're going through this. It is very tough to be misunderstood. I hope you have a pleasant birthday in spite of this. |
deanlad
| @someone_else_again Said
No, it's pretty hard for a non-depressed person to understand depression. It's also far too easy for them to dismiss the depression as being an attention-seeking ploy or just a person being overly dramatic or emotional.
I'm sorry that you're going through this. It is very tough to be misunderstood. I hope you have a pleasant birthday in spite of this.
thank you, i will try. ive got my mum and my dog (weird as that sounds, that dogs been thru so much with me) i no im gonna miss dad (mick skins) cos his death anniversary is only two days after my birthday. im gonna miss seeing his face as i opened watever i got. he didnt care if he got nothing all year, the present opening of me and my brother was always to him the best present |
someone_else_again
Really. Not a dude.
| @deanlad Said
thank you, i will try. ive got my mum and my dog (weird as that sounds, that dogs been thru so much with me) i no im gonna miss dad (mick skins) cos his death anniversary is only two days after my birthday. im gonna miss seeing his face as i opened watever i got. he didnt care if he got nothing all year, the present opening of me and my brother was always to him the best present
Hey...they use dogs for therapy for a good reason. Don't knock it.
Death anniversaries coinciding with other happier events run rampant in my family. It'll get easier with time. Two years is still pretty recent. |
deanlad
| itll be four on the 30th, which is still recent enough to really kick the s*** outta me if im honest |
someone_else_again
Really. Not a dude.
| @deanlad Said
itll be four on the 30th, which is still recent enough to really kick the s*** outta me if im honest
Dammit! My reading comprehension is going to get me in some trouble if I'm not more careful. I'm sorry.
Yes, four years is still recent. My husband's grandfather, who he was very close to, died on my 21st birthday. I'll be 36 this year but my husband still says "a few years ago, my grandfather died on my wife's birthday." Pain doesn't have an expiration date.
I hope, though, that it isn't constant. |
sTreetAngeL
root tedt ree
| @deanlad Said
i did tell him im upset but i cant get into my emotions with him. he tries to help with my depression but he just cant understand how i feel every day. i couldnt tell him how much he has hurt me, he wouldnt listen
Only a daft idiot would not know how very much they've hurt you after all you've gone though.
Stop trying to understand him; he's not putting any effort in to understanding you. Or he does, but cares more about himself. Apparently.
If you can't let it completely go however, perhaps it's best you two don't associate until you can...Or I foresee nothing but more great pain in store for you...
This whole thing...Just horrible, and very heart breaking. |
sparkley
| Gosh, what a family!
I am sorry your brother and your gf did this to you.
It seems like you are the only one with any decency here, you are not worthless but they would appear to be. They deserve each other and I feel sorry for the child, you will find a better partner and be a better parent. |
Electric_Banana
| "Worthless"?
Did your brother and your girlfriend suggest what happened was all your fault?
Did they make suggestions that you have 'No Confidence' and should try and make something more of yourself?
Did they also use terms like "Team Player"
Don't ever let others selfish lack of appreciation put a price tag on the appreciation you have for yourself.
Yeah, I know - it's lonely. What keeps me going this whole time is that I have a conviction that when I eventually die - I'll enter into a world external from this one.
Upon entering that world, the injustice I've suffered here will allow me to consciously remove myself from any existence (what-so-ever) permanently no matter who is their waiting for me and how much I mean to them.
Rather it be my deceased parents or Cheese-Us H Chwist and all of his fwuffy wittle angles - I'll finally have all justifiable reason to raise my middle finger proudly and announce "f*** you all - I'm going back to sleep! Do not summon forth what you do not have the competence to manage properly!" |
rosexthorn
| You are wrong in thinking you are absolutely worthless.
Your worth doesn't depend one iota on what your brother, ex or anyone else says nor does..
Keep your chin up and know your worth within yourself and don't let others define your worth for you.. |
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