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Who Pays The Babysitter?

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DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#1New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 02:20:55
If a man invites a woman who has kids out on a date, is he responsible for paying for the babysitter?

The reason I am asking, I just heard from a friend who had a date and she is not seeing him again. He is polite, respectful, paid for the whole date but did not offer to pay the babysitter so she is not seeing him again.

So if she goes out with a friend to a movie, is the friend suppose to pay for the babysitter for her?
DiscordTiger On December 04, 2021
The Queen of Random

Administrator




Emerald City, United States (g
#2New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 02:26:08
No.

I would say who ever popped out the kid needs to pay the babysitter.

I would be offended if someone wanted me to pay for their sitter to spend time with them. I'm not a guy. but still. I'd be accommodating to parents as far as scheduling and flexibility but it is their responsibility to care and provide for their children.
SpoOny On November 26, 2017
Crazy Cat Lady





Moo-Box, Finland
#3New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 02:29:39
I don't see why he'd have to pay for the babysitter
That's just ridiculous
GSnap On March 02, 2019




Over the Rainbow,
#4New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 02:50:52
@DorkySupergirl Said

If a man invites a woman who has kids out on a date, is he responsible for paying for the babysitter?

The reason I am asking, I just heard from a friend who had a date and she is not seeing him again. He is polite, respectful, paid for the whole date but did not offer to pay the babysitter so she is not seeing him again.

So if she goes out with a friend to a movie, is the friend suppose to pay for the babysitter for her?


WOW!

Methinks your friend might have trouble with the dating scene in her life. That's just over the top.

It must be difficult to be a man in the dating game. Some women expect way too much. If someone goes this far, what's next? Should he pay for the new shoes someone buys too, if they were bought specifically for that date? (rhetorical question) Not trying to diss your friend but I think her expectations are really out of sorts.
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#5New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 02:55:29
From further communication with her, she is saying she would not have taken the money but is upset he did not offer to pay all or even half of the babysitter when she made it clear she has two children.

I do not have kids and it seemed odd to me so I thought I would make a thread to see if its normal or not normal to expect your date to pay for sitter.

I am thinking also, its placing too much on the man. Not only does not pay for date, but suppose to pay for sitter. It would not fly if a man wanted the woman to pay for date and sitter for his kids,
eternus_somnium On April 14, 2021
clinically crackers





, United States (general)
#6New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 02:55:59
If I was that guy I'd be running like crocodiles were snapping at my heels. Having to pay for the kid's babysitter BEFORE even really getting into a relationship with the woman? I'd be thinking "Oh f***, this one's a gold digger, get me outta here!" Really it gives me the impression that she would be all over his money, trying to get him to pay for everything.

Maybe your friend isn't a gold digger... But I find it pretty nuts for her to expect that from him, especially when he paid for the entire date already.
eternus_somnium On April 14, 2021
clinically crackers





, United States (general)
#7New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 02:56:49
@DorkySupergirl Said

From further communication with her, she is saying she would not have taken the money but is upset he did not offer to pay all or even half of the babysitter when she made it clear she has two children.

I do not have kids and it seemed odd to me so I thought I would make a thread to see if its normal or not normal to expect your date to pay for sitter.

I am thinking also, its placing too much on the man. Not only does not pay for date, but suppose to pay for sitter. It would not fly if a man wanted the woman to pay for date and sitter for his kids,



Exactly. This is a form of sexism to me, in my opinion he shouldn't have even had to pay for the entire date
floydgirrl On October 08, 2022
Stalkee





Pope's Wine Celler, Holy See (
#8New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:02:11
Methinks the guy is lucky that she won't date him anymore. Even if she wants him to "offer" to pay. What else is she going to want him to "offer"?

No. She has the kids, she pays. If they move in together later, then he can pay, but not while dating. If she can't afford a babysitter, then she should stay home.
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#9New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:02:55
@eternus_somnium Said

If I was that guy I'd be running like crocodiles were snapping at my heels. Having to pay for the kid's babysitter BEFORE even really getting into a relationship with the woman? I'd be thinking "Oh f***, this one's a gold digger, get me outta here!" Really it gives me the impression that she would be all over his money, trying to get him to pay for everything.

Maybe your friend isn't a gold digger... But I find it pretty nuts for her to expect that from him, especially when he paid for the entire date already.



@eternus_somnium Said

Exactly. This is a form of sexism to me, in my opinion he shouldn't have even had to pay for the entire date


This might sound like contradiction but she does not care if a man has a lot of money, as long as he is not in big debt and things like that but to her, men are suppose to pay for dates. She says she would not have taken the money but he was suppose to offer even half for the babysitter. Her reasoning is that he knew she has two children and it was part of the date so at least, cost should have been split.

My thought is that they are not his kids and has responsibility to pay and if you can;t afford sitter ,do not go out. She can afford sitter, it was just that this was a guy and it was a date so offer should have been made.
eternus_somnium On April 14, 2021
clinically crackers





, United States (general)
#10New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:07:26
@DorkySupergirl Said

This might sound like contradiction but she does not care if a man has a lot of money, as long as he is not in big debt and things like that but to her, men are suppose to pay for dates. She says she would not have taken the money but he was suppose to offer even half for the babysitter. Her reasoning is that he knew she has two children and it was part of the date so at least, cost should have been split.

My thought is that they are not his kids and has responsibility to pay and if you can;t afford sitter ,do not go out. She can afford sitter, it was just that this was a guy and it was a date so offer should have been made.



I don't even see why she would want him to offer to pay. Those kids are not his responsibility, and if it was me it would have never crossed my mind.

Whether she would have taken the money or not doesn't matter to me (well, it does, but not just yet). It's the fact that SHE has two kids, and they are under her care, not his. That's taking good old chivalry to a completely different level, one that doesn't seem like fair playing ground to me.

Was this her first date with him?
GSnap On March 02, 2019




Over the Rainbow,
#11New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:07:55
@DorkySupergirl Said

From further communication with her, she is saying she would not have taken the money but is upset he did not offer to pay all or even half of the babysitter when she made it clear she has two children.

I do not have kids and it seemed odd to me so I thought I would make a thread to see if its normal or not normal to expect your date to pay for sitter.

I am thinking also, its placing too much on the man. Not only does not pay for date, but suppose to pay for sitter. It would not fly if a man wanted the woman to pay for date and sitter for his kids,


I agree. That is too high of an expectation. And women who do this only hurt themselves in the long run. There are a lot of decent good men out there who are not independently wealthy who do even offer to pay for the whole date (not many men even do that much, and honestly today it isn't really a requirement i don't think, but a nice touch) so to expect a man to offer to pay for the sitter, well that almost sounds like "princess syndrome" or something.
GSnap On March 02, 2019




Over the Rainbow,
#12New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:08:50
@eternus_somnium Said

I don't even see why she would want him to offer to pay. Those kids are not his responsibility, and if it was me it would have never crossed my mind


Agreed, and if all women with little kids had this mindset I bet many men would just avoid dating them altogether, and can't say I'd blame them.
TenaciousDave On February 11, 2022
The Anus Of Satan





Jeffrey Dahmer's Lunchbox,
#13New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:10:36
@DorkySupergirl Said

If a man invites a woman who has kids out on a date, is he responsible for paying for the babysitter?

The reason I am asking, I just heard from a friend who had a date and she is not seeing him again. He is polite, respectful, paid for the whole date but did not offer to pay the babysitter so she is not seeing him again.

So if she goes out with a friend to a movie, is the friend suppose to pay for the babysitter for her?



This joke sucks!!!
DiscordTiger On December 04, 2021
The Queen of Random

Administrator




Emerald City, United States (g
#14New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:12:10
@DorkySupergirl Said

This might sound like contradiction but she does not care if a man has a lot of money, as long as he is not in big debt and things like that but to her, men are suppose to pay for dates. She says she would not have taken the money but he was suppose to offer even half for the babysitter. Her reasoning is that he knew she has two children and it was part of the date so at least, cost should have been split.

My thought is that they are not his kids and has responsibility to pay and if you can;t afford sitter ,do not go out. She can afford sitter, it was just that this was a guy and it was a date so offer should have been made.



but her having two children is not part of the date unless he was the father.

I think men paying for the dates is a nice gesture, but outdated and shouldn't be expected. I'd prefer to split it, as that is fair, but will go along with the who ever did the inviting can do the paying.

The sitter for the kids, is her responsibility to make arrangements for before hand. It's like she had to have clothing for the date or take a shower to prepare for it, should he have offered to pay part of her water bill and for soap? or buy part of her outfit? I think your friend has unreasonable expectations.

I would probably tell her I think it's an unreasonable expectation, but I tell my friends things like that, though they all kinda know that if I think something is wrong, I will speak up about it. They don't have to agree with me or listen to me, but I will point out something.
Cats_Eyes On August 12, 2012

Deleted



My own world,
#15New Post! Mar 22, 2011 @ 03:20:28
I never heard of such a thing before. He is taking her on a date not engaged to her. Those kids are not his responsiblility until he puts a ring on her finger. If he were my date I'd be glad he'd accept me and my kids as a package deal and would not be trying to get all I can out of him before we have a serious commitment.
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