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I am hopeless when it comes to getting a relationship...

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amichele15 On November 29, 2007




Hampton, Virginia
#1New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 07:39:12
I need advice badly. I am only 20 so I am not dying here but I am feeling down about
myself. I know that I have forever to have a relationship and all but here's the bad stuff...
The most serious boyfriend I have ever had was in the 6th grade and it lasted a month. I
haven't had any "actual" relationships since and though I love being free and have enjoyed
being single I have been feeling so lonely and miserable for a couple years now. I am
honestly not trying to sound like I'm bragging but I am a decently attractive female. I am
tall, skinny, I have boobs, a nice butt, a pretty and "girl next door" face, long brown hair,
and guys tell me I'm hot (even though I can't see it). I'm a pretty cool chick too. I am very
normal, funny, chill, I'm fun to be with, I'm always in a good mood, I don't pms, I'm not
jealous or psycho or controlling, a lot of guys consider me to be "one of the guys" because
I'm relaxed and almost tom-boyish. So please tell me why I CANNOT find a guy. I do not
act flimsy or dumb or easy or girly or too guyish or flirty. Guys always look at me in one
way and one way only: to get down my pants. No matter how non-flirty I try to be, guys
only care about me because they like my body or how I look. I honestly have never
experienced a guy who liked me otherwise. Never. I always feel like a piece of trash
because I am only the girl who guys want to bring home for a one-night stand. Never the
girl they want to date or have as a girlfriend. I'm even a virgin. Mostly because of the fact
that I've never had a guy interested in me for real so I feel like I'll never have sex because
then I'd just be giving it up to some a*****e. I am just very sick of being lonely and only
being a booty call girl. I am also just completely confused as to why I am treated this way
when I honestly feel like I am a girl that most guys would die to be with. I hope I didn't
sound like I was bragging because I wasn't, I am just very annoyed and need anyones
advice. Thanks a lot!
nigredo On December 16, 2009




fallbrook, California
#2New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 08:05:25
i know how you feel, well for the most part. we have a lot of the same characteristics, but with a few exceptions. for one, i'm a boy lol and i'm 19, but i always find that i have no interest in girls that are attracted to me. everytime i ask someone else out, i kinda just gets to the first date deal and after that...i don't even know. i totally understand the virgin thing, i'm in the same boat there, like i coulda had it, but it would be nice if it actually meant something for the first time u know? as for advice, maybe you just kinda give off vibes that guys interpret as one night stand idk. have you ever tried not being yourself? it sounds a little strange, but i suppose it's possible
treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker

Moderator




London, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 08:31:47
you know, it would seriously be worth considering joining an online dating site I think you will have a good chance to meet a lot of guys and have a relationship. At least you know they are genuinely seeking companionship and relationship and you can see thier interests and get a feel for what they are like before you meet them. None of your friends need to know. Just as long as you follow the rules and be safe you could have a lot of fun.
gumby On April 13, 2008




Parra, Australia
#4New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 10:15:41
I TOTALLY agree with the above post. Give an online dating site a whirl. It really can't do any harm that way you know you're both looking for something similar and you can really get to know each other that way. My boyfriend and I met online and it's been great for us.

Otherwise maybe try "looking" in other places. Don't go to huge nightclubs or something of the sort looking because guaranteed most guys are looking for a one night stand in those cases instead try other social events that allow mixing of females and males.

Also maybe actually make it known to your friends that you are looking for a partner especially if most of your friends are males and they see you as "one of them". You say you're attractive I'm sure someone in your circle of friends is or knows of someone who is attracted to you in that way but maybe they just don't know if they can cross that line.

Anyhows good luck and don't try too hard the right person will come along just keep your eyes open and try not to get so down CONFIDENCE is key.
loveis On January 15, 2010
brat-inella


Deleted



In the mirror,
#5New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 15:18:17
@amichele15 Said
I need advice badly. I am only 20 so I am not dying here but I am feeling down about
myself. I know that I have forever to have a relationship and all but here's the bad stuff...
The most serious boyfriend I have ever had was in the 6th grade and it lasted a month. I
haven't had any "actual" relationships since and though I love being free and have enjoyed
being single I have been feeling so lonely and miserable for a couple years now. I am
honestly not trying to sound like I'm bragging but I am a decently attractive female. I am
tall, skinny, I have boobs, a nice butt, a pretty and "girl next door" face, long brown hair,
and guys tell me I'm hot (even though I can't see it). I'm a pretty cool chick too. I am very
normal, funny, chill, I'm fun to be with, I'm always in a good mood, I don't pms, I'm not
jealous or psycho or controlling, a lot of guys consider me to be "one of the guys" because
I'm relaxed and almost tom-boyish. So please tell me why I CANNOT find a guy. I do not
act flimsy or dumb or easy or girly or too guyish or flirty. Guys always look at me in one
way and one way only: to get down my pants. No matter how non-flirty I try to be, guys
only care about me because they like my body or how I look. I honestly have never
experienced a guy who liked me otherwise. Never. I always feel like a piece of trash
because I am only the girl who guys want to bring home for a one-night stand. Never the
girl they want to date or have as a girlfriend. I'm even a virgin. Mostly because of the fact
that I've never had a guy interested in me for real so I feel like I'll never have sex because
then I'd just be giving it up to some a*****e. I am just very sick of being lonely and only
being a booty call girl. I am also just completely confused as to why I am treated this way
when I honestly feel like I am a girl that most guys would die to be with. I hope I didn't
sound like I was bragging because I wasn't, I am just very annoyed and need anyones
advice. Thanks a lot!


Sounds to me like you've already found "alot" of guys, - but just are maybe too blind to see it..

You say they only want you for one thing. Do you know this for a fact?
Did they actually come out and tell you this? Or demonstrate this in "actual actions"?

You said yourself you are comfortable around them, and are easily able to be yourself "like one of the guys", (and this is an attractive quality ), they in turn may feel the same way", but with mixed messages from you..as they sense, in one way your interest, then feel rejected somehow but can't figure out why..so they don't even try..
Your body "language" may be saying alot more than you even realize..

Why don't you stop "assumming" they want you "only" for your body, and give them a chance..a first date at least for god's sake..
But remember, at the same time, it's only "natural" that they will be attracted to your body (as you know damm well you are to theirs, it's only natural)..
..Give something a chance to "begin", before giving it an "end".
(I was a dummy like you at one time, I know what I'm talking about ).. Good luck hon.
ronin On April 11, 2010




Columbus, Ohio
#6New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 15:25:59
Well, the way you describe yourself, It's shouldnt' be too hard to find someone.

Like a few people above me said, an online dating site wouldn't be a bad idea. It would be easier to make a connection not based completely on how someone looks on there.

Or Like Loveis said, maybe you just aren't giving the guys you meet a real chance. It's natural for guys to be attracted to you. Maybe you just need to get to know them better?

Or, maybe you just have terrible luck, I don't know. But I'm sure it'll turn around before too long. Things almost always get better, just give it time. And don't feel so down, you'll find someone special before too long.

Good Luck!
GeneticAnomaly On May 25, 2020
Marvellous, simply m





, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 21:59:50
If what you are saying is even close to how it is you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Of course guys seem as if they just want to get in your pants, it's what we do! You sound perfectly normal and level headed. You have all the time in the world to meet Mr. Right so stop worrying, just keep as wide a social circle as possible and he'll find you, guaranteed!
clurrby On June 06, 2008




Liverpool, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Nov 28, 2007 @ 22:01:23
Don't go looking for love. Let it find you
toaster88 On January 10, 2008




North Tonawanda, New York
#9New Post! Nov 29, 2007 @ 06:55:48
Are you afraid of commitment? Or did you just not like the idea to have a relationship yet, since your last boyfriend, that is.
luv_to_hold On April 13, 2016

Deleted



Reed City, Michigan
#10New Post! Nov 30, 2007 @ 23:18:12
I know exactly where you are coming from. Don't feel bad about yourself. I am much older than you (32) and I have never had a S.O.

I have already tried dating sites.... which everyone knows it's more difficult for a male to meet someone on a dating site because of the ratio of males to females.... (sometimes 100to1) I wake up in the morning wondering if I'll ever meet someone, and I try to be positive. I know that I'm not that attractive, but I'm definately not ugly either. I treat women with respect. Why can't I find love? I have pondered that question for a long time, and continue to do so today. I always have hope that someday I'll find love.


The best advice I can give you is to keep holding your head up high, and be positive. Your "knight in shining armor" will probably appear when you least expect it.
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