Hello, I am new to this forum n sorry if this post is too long but I need to get it off my chest. During my childhood everyone was really awful to me and I got upset a lot. But along that time of my life I met few people who were, you might say, angels to me in my life and were very kind to me. Amoung them there was only one male who was like that and his name was Corey. I met him at my diabete's summer camp when I was 10. I thought I was going to have one hell of a hard time of it there, because every single person was cruel to me but then I met him and somehow nothing else at that camp matter to me but him. Everything bad about it was entirely blown away. He was kind to me, I can't even explain in words how much him being there ment to me and he asked me to the camp dance too. I was thinking when I left camp that year that he'd be back the years after, but he wasn't, at least not until the 13th year but when I met him again he wasn't at all the same. Not as talkative, shadowed, and it left me concerned. He was kicked out that year at camp because he punched somebody cause somebody made fun of him. I thought I'd never see him again. Life goes on of course, but naturally I never forget my friend. I was still very anti-social and friendless until mid-way through sophomore year. I met real friends around then and my boyfriend Will. Now being in college life has changed a lot and it's not as bad as it was but I still have very few friends and in general I hate people. Recently I joined MySpace because both my best friend and boyfriend did. I decided to go looking for old friends but I knew that it would be impossible to find any of them but omfg, I found Corey. He knows that I found him n I he asked for my phone so I have both seen him and heard from him again. But finding him again isn't doing the same thing to him as it is to me. For me it opened up old wounds, I told him that I loved him n that being there for me back then ment a lot. He told me that he changed a lot n he would actually have to meet up with me again to even begin to have feelings like that for me. But somethin like that wont ever happen, he tells me to stay n contact with him cause i'd b a loss if I didn't, but I don't get it, what's the point? I'm just emotionally upset n the pain feels like its making me rot on the inside. I feel cold, I can't talk to my few friends cause they're the sort of peps who dont like to get involved with other peoples problems. I also got drunk twice this week and I don't drink. I feel like I'm crying out and not a single person acknowledges my pain. I also realized that people who make u care for them never care for you back. I just need to talk about it, it's driving me crazy.