"Raisin Bran<3"  xoxbrandyxox
More Pics
Über-Meister
1652 points
20/F/, Florida
Join Date: Jun 2006 |
| |
|
Okay. So, there's this guy. I've known him for almost 3 years. A year after I met him I kind of... fell in love with him  . Before I get into my story, heres why I fell in love with him.
Ok on January 13, 2004 the worst thing in my life happened. My dad died. Me being 15, I thought I would never be happy after that again. That I would just pretty much live until I died. I was still in my old High School, which I hated. After my dad died, I stopped going to school, I hated it and it was too overwhelming to be majorly depressed in a place you can't stand. So i left school, the rest of the year I was homeschooled. Then the next school year starts in September '04. Thats when I meet him. At first I didnt like him all that much, he was just a stupid guy to me then. That year we go to being good friends, we hung out sometimes, went to the mall, went bowling, played pool, and went skating. He helped me out with all my problems and my boyfriends. That school year ended, then the next year is when it all hit me. I fell in love with the kid, and you want to know why? Because he was the only guy & person in general to make me genuinely happy after my dad had died. I told him I was in love with him. He didnt feel the same, i was expecting that so it didnt really bother me. He told me that he wasnt going to date another girl until i "fell out of love" with him, cause he didnt want to hurt me. So me, wanting him to get on with his life, i told him i didnt love him anymore eventually, but he knows ill always like him.
NOW. eventually, i did get over him. But the other night err, more like Monday morning (12 AM) me and my cousin hung out with him and his best friend. While my cousin and his friend went to 7/11 me and him kinda started making out and s**t. Now i pretty much hate myself for it. I dont know what to do, but when i was kissing him i felt all these feelings rush back, and i dont wanna fall in love with him again, unless its actually gonna go somewhere this time. He explained to me why me and him never dated, and i understand his reasons completely. But he doesnt have that reason anymore (we talked about it). It doesnt help i live 45 minutes away from him right now though.
What do i do to keep myself from falling in love with him all over again and keep me from getting my heartbroken. I cant just stop talking to him, hes one of the best people i know and i dont wanna lose that.
....& if youre wondering the reason why we never dated. He said it was because at the time he was still living with his ex fiance and he could only see himself being tied down to her. Which is why none of his other relationships never worked out.
Now I know youre thinking, 'hes probably just saying that.' or 'hes probably a jerk and just doesnt want to make her feel bad' please dont say that. you dont know him the way i know him. and again, i understand his reasons of why we never dated perfectly, cause ive had reasons to why i never dated people too.
Just help me. What do i do?
& if you read all that, thanks for caring?.  | |
|
Yeah Im back. I havnt been on in a while. Too many issues goin on. But im back and im gonna try and be on everyday again. & today is my birhtday [May 4th] =D I am now officially 19  But im back. =]
M.L & C.K. - I just cant get you outta my system 
Current Music: Outta My System - Bow Wow
| |
|
This song, reminds me of him. 
It just kills me knowing that the only lie ive ever told him was something as big as 'no im not in love with you anymore'
when in reality... i still do love him.. 
Thanks for the song Luis... thanks a bunch. | |
|
Im going to pa** out after i take a shower. I just wanted to say goodnight to all my TFS friends.
Well night!
and i still want that song  | |
|
Im sick of being bored ALLL day. There is NOTHING to do here. Grrrr. And i am very very very very tired. Maybe i should stop staying awake until 4 IN THE MORNING. Its all your fault! lol  Im kidding. But i cannot WAIT to go home in 2 weeks. Then I wont be bored all day everyday. Ill have all my friends, and my family, and I will be content for life. And i will actually be able to HEAR the word "wicked" come from other peoples mouths but my own.
But anyways, im off of here for a bit. Maybe an hour, maybe a day. Im not sure. Ill go obsess over my Myspace. | |
|
XoxBrandySays: luis are you going to conform or not?@
XoxBrandySays: you conformed with myspace
Psxn64DC2: i know
Psxn64DC2: i guess
Psxn64DC2: give me link
XoxBrandySays: come on luis
XoxBrandySays: EVERYBODIES DOING IT *peer pressure*
m e a gg a nnnn: lol
Psxn64DC2: you and your conformity
m e a gg a nnnn: he conformed with facebook, too
m e a gg a nnnn: i made him
XoxBrandySays: www.theforumsite.com
XoxBrandySays: Luis. its ok... we love you
Psxn64DC2: and I love you too guys lol | |
|
m e a gg a nnnn: omg..
Psxn64DC2: i swear i saw a 13 year old yesetrday as one of your freinds
XoxBrandySays: yeah but i didnt know he was 13
XoxBrandySays: .....
XoxBrandySays: omg.. what?
m e a gg a nnnn: idk
Psxn64DC2: hahahaha
Psxn64DC2: suuuuuure
XoxBrandySays: k
m e a gg a nnnn: my name on there is bella_disaster
XoxBrandySays: woot
XoxBrandySays: im adding you
m e a gg a nnnn: k
m e a gg a nnnn: im cold
XoxBrandySays: im not
Psxn64DC2: im not cold my self
Psxn64DC2: i also have some layers of clothes because i went out early
Psxn64DC2: because i love to layer
Psxn64DC2: because its awesome
XoxBrandySays: ...
m e a gg a nnnn: *cough*loser*cough*
XoxBrandySays: are you sure luis
Psxn64DC2: grrrrrrrrrr
Psxn64DC2: haters
XoxBrandySays: lol
XoxBrandySays: o yeah. i added you
XoxBrandySays: Luis.. make one. or be an odd ball
XoxBrandySays: COME ON LUIS
XoxBrandySays: CONFORM!!!!
m e a gg a nnnn: jk luis. muchoo amo
Psxn64DC2: mucho amo tambien
Psxn64DC2: why you want me to conform
m e a gg a nnnn: i dont want it to say where i live
XoxBrandySays: cause i love you....
XoxBrandySays: i dont think it has too
XoxBrandySays: i dont know how to do it though
m e a gg a nnnn: i changed it
XoxBrandySays: k
Psxn64DC2: k
XoxBrandySays: how do i get firefox?
XoxBrandySays: i need it
Psxn64DC2: internet
Psxn64DC2: thats hw i got it
Psxn64DC2: i downloaded it
Psxn64DC2: i use firefox like crazy
Psxn64DC2: and also netscape
XoxBrandySays: cause you need it to fix your top friends on here
Psxn64DC2: well download it form the internet
Psxn64DC2: google whould help
XoxBrandySays: i am
XoxBrandySays: now
Psxn64DC2: well good then
Psxn64DC2: god WOMEN
XoxBrandySays: f**k you
Psxn64DC2: what
XoxBrandySays: see im tryin to quit swearin
XoxBrandySays: and you just keep me goin
Psxn64DC2: well you failed lol
XoxBrandySays: because of you!
Psxn64DC2: no
Psxn64DC2: its your anger
m e a gg a nnnn: i cant stop playing with my piercings
m e a gg a nnnn: *piercing
XoxBrandySays: lol
Psxn64DC2: i dont think thats healthy
XoxBrandySays: luis you make me angry
Psxn64DC2: no no no
Psxn64DC2: you love me
Psxn64DC2: i make you happy
Psxn64DC2: seeeee
Psxn64DC2: gleeeeeeeee
XoxBrandySays: .........*trying not to laugh hysterically*
Psxn64DC2: lol
Psxn64DC2: told you
Psxn64DC2: im so loveable its hard to be mad at me
m e a gg a nnnn: i feel gangster
Psxn64DC2: because of the bling bling on your lip
Psxn64DC2: you be a gangsta chick now
Psxn64DC2: word up
Psxn64DC2: waz up to my hommies
Psxn64DC2: giv them a 1 2 aight
Psxn64DC2: One
XoxBrandySays: ...
XoxBrandySays: dos
Psxn64DC2: uno
Psxn64DC2: dos
Psxn64DC2: tres
Psxn64DC2: cartorce
Psxn64DC2: hello hello
Psxn64DC2: HOLA!!
XoxBrandySays: quatro*
Psxn64DC2: baby please go vertigo
Psxn64DC2: its from a song
Psxn64DC2: you dont get it
Psxn64DC2: and its cuarto
m e a gg a nnnn: my ears hurt
Psxn64DC2: why
XoxBrandySays: cuarto means 4th... not 4
Psxn64DC2: are you serious
Psxn64DC2: do you know who you speaking to
XoxBrandySays: thats what it said when i looked it up
Psxn64DC2: i can bring my mom up here right now
Psxn64DC2: you knwo what
Psxn64DC2: im gonna do that
Psxn64DC2: brb
m e a gg a nnnn: brandy.. cuarto is four
m e a gg a nnnn: i lied
m e a gg a nnnn: idk
m e a gg a nnnn: im not spanish
XoxBrandySays: lol.
Psxn64DC2: seeee
XoxBrandySays: Luis just HAS to be right
Psxn64DC2: yes
Psxn64DC2: Luis does
XoxBrandySays: Luis needs to stop
Psxn64DC2: its just law
m e a gg a nnnn: quatro is room, right?
Psxn64DC2: well Luis will stop when he wants to
Psxn64DC2: no
Psxn64DC2: its spelled the same way
m e a gg a nnnn: this is why i failed.
XoxBrandySays: lol
Psxn64DC2: cuatro means quarter past
Psxn64DC2: in time form
Psxn64DC2: like when some says quarter past 10
m e a gg a nnnn: ok shutup
Psxn64DC2: lol
Psxn64DC2: dont wanna learn
XoxBrandySays: no
XoxBrandySays: well i do.. just not by you
m e a gg a nnnn: i need a butt
Psxn64DC2: huh?
Psxn64DC2: ohhhh a square
m e a gg a nnnn: mhmm
XoxBrandySays: she likes to say butt
Psxn64DC2: thats nice
m e a gg a nnnn: mhmm
XoxBrandySays: yeah
Psxn64DC2: i either say sig or square
XoxBrandySays: cig*
Psxn64DC2: same didderefrence
Psxn64DC2: diffffenceference
XoxBrandySays: ........
XoxBrandySays: difference*
Psxn64DC2: hehehehe
XoxBrandySays: youre dumb
Psxn64DC2: ok im srroy
XoxBrandySays: sorry*
XoxBrandySays:
m e a gg a nnnn: i say butt cauz im old school
Psxn64DC2: im tneglletni
XoxBrandySays: dont type backwards
Psxn64DC2: ko
XoxBrandySays: its yag
Psxn64DC2: ok
Psxn64DC2: lmao
Psxn64DC2: yag ruoy
XoxBrandySays: on mi ton
XoxBrandySays: haha that looks like a different language
Psxn64DC2: lmao
Psxn64DC2: yeah it does
XoxBrandySays: ton mi on
XoxBrandySays: turn me on
XoxBrandySays: LMAP
XoxBrandySays: lmao*
Psxn64DC2: lmao
m e a gg a nnnn: does it say your last name?
m e a gg a nnnn: at your age
m e a gg a nnnn: youre going to have a lot of urges
m e a gg a nnnn: youre going to want to take off your clothes and touch eachother
Psxn64DC2: Huh?
XoxBrandySays: ....
m e a gg a nnnn: but if you touch eachother
XoxBrandySays: haha
m e a gg a nnnn: you will get chlamydia
m e a gg a nnnn: and die.
Psxn64DC2: wow
XoxBrandySays: no it dont say your last name
XoxBrandySays: LMAO
m e a gg a nnnn: k
XoxBrandySays: i love mean girls.
m e a gg a nnnn: dido
Psxn64DC2: i should watch that movie
Psxn64DC2: alot of people say its actually a funny movie
m e a gg a nnnn: it is
m e a gg a nnnn: it soo good
m e a gg a nnnn: shes a life ruiner
m e a gg a nnnn: she ruins lives
XoxBrandySays: i am making a journal with that in it
Psxn64DC2: koolers
Psxn64DC2: koolerama
Psxn64DC2: lollerskates
m e a gg a nnnn: lol
m e a gg a nnnn: come quick!
m e a gg a nnnn: theyve gone wild
Psxn64DC2: what
Psxn64DC2: who
m e a gg a nnnn: the girls have gone wild
Psxn64DC2: OMg RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Psxn64DC2: *rusn*
m e a gg a nnnn: whats the avatar thing?
Psxn64DC2: huh
m e a gg a nnnn: hell no! i did not leave the southside for this!
XoxBrandySays: just your pic
XoxBrandySays: HAHAH
m e a gg a nnnn: ooh ok
Psxn64DC2: im cofused
Psxn64DC2: hmmmm mean girls are playing tamorrow on tbs
Psxn64DC2: i should watch it
XoxBrandySays: link [www.theforumsite.com]
XoxBrandySays: go read
m e a gg a nnnn: hgahaha i sawww
XoxBrandySays: lol
Psxn64DC2: lmao
m e a gg a nnnn: I HAVE A HOLE IN MY FACE THATS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE
m e a gg a nnnn: im going to put on pjs | |
|
m e a gg a nnnn: at your age
m e a gg a nnnn: youre going to have a lot of urges
m e a gg a nnnn: youre going to want to take off your clothes and touch eachother
m e a gg a nnnn: but if you touch eachother
m e a gg a nnnn: you will get chlamydia
m e a gg a nnnn: and die.
I her. Shes my favorite cousin.
& Meag Im happy youre home and im uber proud of you. Love ya bunches.!
:heart;Cuzzy-Wuzzy......you know the rest | |
|
Today...has been a pretty amazing day. Im feelin a little better about my friends now. Which is great. Im moving home soon. Which is even better. Except my friend Colin who is now making me feel bad!   Oh wells. Oh yeah, I like really cute boys who live in different countries. Theyre fun to talk to. Lol. Wait, the Colin just made me smile again. LMAO. I love ittt.
colin: well you wasn't one of them so i dont' see why you can't play there
colin: you're too innocent and that's not nice of them to tell you no
colin: you should take a rolled up newspaper and beat them like a bad woofy
I <3 him hes awesome. Only one who can make me smile when im lower than low. but thats all for now. I had more to write but I will laterrrr.<3
<3Brandy/Raisin Bran/Kimmy | |
|
Kay. So for the past few weeks I've been getting VERY emotional. I have decided I need to move back to Massachusetts for good. Florida has nothing for me. And Ive been feeling like s**t with my friends. I mean I feel bad about leaving them all. But now I mostly feel like I dont know anything about them anymore. Like they've completely changed since I been here and could now care less that Im gone. I know its not true, but I feel that way. You ever get that feeling when your not around your friends for a long you just feel like..."out of the loop". So Im not sure what to do about that. All I know is I need to go home for good. So I can be with my friends. Everythings changed since Ive gone. For instance
Friend #1: Apparently finds friend #4 to be a bestfriend now. I dont know how that happened but I know Ive always seen friend #4 as a brother anyways.
Friend #2: Apparently shes an alcholic and she has to go to a group home now. And I cant stand not being there in Ma** for her.
Friend #3: Yeah his Grandfather died and im not there for him which, SUCKS majorly.
Friend #4: Nothings changed with him. His parents are still over protective. But I feel bad not being there to get him out of his house and I feel bad about not seeing him the day before I left.
Friend #4: Also my little sister, yeah she might be moving and I need to be there for her.
Friend #5: Better known as my cousin. Her life is just going all sorts of downhill and I wanna be there for her. =[
So I need to get home and stop feeling like this. Wouldnt you say so too? 
Current Music: Stefy- Orange County
| |
Pages: Prev | Next |
Post in Forums 
Why do i do this to myself?
