 warlock0622
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Meister
1202 points
33/M/Shinglehouse, Pennsylvania
Join Date: Jun 2008 |
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Tequila_Sunrise
Ogler
21983 points | Just a typical day for me.
November 20, 2008 @ 11:41:22 am | Trust me you don't want to read this.
I just need time to get this off my chest and tfs was open.
-sigh-
Its dark. Cold. And I'm alone, on my bed. Tears are rolling down my face and all I want right now is just a hug.
Work 1 was bad. Stressful and it made me feel used.
Work 2, tonight was horrible. There was a storm and I got soaked and hailed on and I just felt like dying.
I got home at f**king 9:30.
My parents were drunk as.
Werent you two fighting last night?!?! why are u sitting on the lounge looking at photos of our BROKEN FAMILY?!?!?!?!?
Two faced f**kwits.
Dont ask me how my day was! Dont ask me if im ok!
I only rang you up an hour ago to tell u that work was crazy and i'd be knocking off later than usual. I only cried to you and told u I was so so sick of being used.
No just say hi and pretend like nothings wrong.
I go to say goodnight to you mum, give u a hug and I cant let go. Im starting tocry and u ask me whats wrong?
I say I had a bad day. A really bad day. The ultimate bad day.
And what do u say? You let go of me and say "your days cant be that bad! that girl from work u dont like wasnt workin so why was it bad?!"
I get upset and go into my room.
Maybe im tired, cranky and hormonal but really all I wantfrom you is a hug to make me feel better.
The hours I listen to you screaming and yelling at him, you cant even give me one REASSURING hug that lifes ok.
For f**ks sake.
Why do you make me feel so alone? Do u enjoy it??
So once again mum, i will cry myself to sleep. feeling sorry for myself as you would call it. YOU WONDER WHY. I cant f**king cry infront of u because u tell me i have nothing to cry about.
Have another drink, no really, this ones on me!
I'll clean up the stupid mess u caused.
I'll even cook dinner and watch it go cold while ur at the pub.
Dad too. Your both just as bad.
Role models huh?!?!?!
I have none.
I have a maturity level higher than both of u.
I just want a hug... please.
3 comments | Reply |
Tequila_Sunrise
Ogler
21983 points | Haha so so sad.
November 14, 2008 @ 08:37:05 am | So it Friday nite.
I'm at home..
Alone.
My parents are out.
I have no where to go...
Or no one to go with..
so this is just the greatest feeling ever when all I want right now is someone here to talk to me and hug me and make me feel better.
This has been the worst day I've had in a long long time.
And although I know certain people are out of reach.... it still doesnt stop me from thinking about them, and what I've done.
But I guess I should just put it out of my head and go on with my life. Thats the way its gonna be from now on right??
Sigh.
It's not the reason why my day is so bad. It's just another extra adding to the miserable bubble I'm trapped in today.
Ok. Maybe not just today.
Maybe I'll just go for a walk on the beach... alone. Just because I know that when I'm there everything seems that little bit easier
Or maybe i'll go back to the pub to see my parents.
Who knows where I'll end up.
I just don't want to be alone right now.
Reply |
Tequila_Sunrise
Ogler
21983 points | Damn.
November 14, 2008 @ 05:38:55 am | I usually like fridays because it means its the last day of the week.
Well this week sucks! I haveto work 7:30 til 4 tomorrow 
Kill me, please.
I almost quit today.
I accidently slept in an hour late and then the whole day was just f**ked up.
Can anything actually go right today?2 comments | Reply |
Tequila_Sunrise
Ogler
21983 points | Ah
November 12, 2008 @ 09:54:35 am | I feel like s**t. Soooo tired!!
I'm working like 32 hours this week (yeah, thats heaps for me)
Although its good money, 'cause im not sleeping well its s**t.
I thought being this busy would keep mymind off certain things/people. Boy was I wrong..
I need a better job - soon.Reply |
Tequila_Sunrise
Ogler
21983 points | So im thinking.
November 10, 2008 @ 07:44:42 am | A. Its almost 7pm. where are my parents? Have not seen them all day.
B. Is it weird to be working with someone ALL week? Should I say something?
C. Am I ever not going to put my foot in it?
D. I probably should have gone and seen my "best friend" today and sorted things out but the truth is if she wants to smoke pot and associate with drugs than do I really want to go there?
E. Am I being used?
F. The formals in a week or so.
G. Perhaps I should start cooking dinner so that why they finally decide to get home from the pub I wont get yelled at.
H. Is it a really bad thing that I feel so bad right now? Am I being selfish?
I. Did I say something wrong to make him go away?
J. Maybe I just cant be bothered to get out of bed tomorrow...
K. Why do I try with people? I always end up saying the wrong thing anyway.
L. Why should i call them? They are my parents, they should be here 
M. I seriously want to cry. And ur not even here right now to care.
N. I dont know why I just said that. You shouldnt have to care. I should stop thinking about you and relying on you.
O. I mean, If I went and seen her today she would have put the blame on me and figured it all out.
P. She did have one thing right. I do have alot of secrets. But who doesnt? So what if I like to keep things to myself.
Q. What the hell am I going to do with my life?
R. Maybe things would be easier if I just saved, packed up and drove away for a little while.
S. Maybe I could get a job in Syd and move in with my Grandma.
T. Woah I've never thought about that before. That could solve everything.
But eventually I would have to move back up here to hell.
U. Why do I want them to come home? All I know is they are going to be pissed and fights are going to start.
V. See this is what makes me so alone. I associate myself to other peoples problems too much that I become a problem.
W. So he hasnt come back. So what? Why do I care? He's probably just busy.
X. I kinda miss being a kid.
Y. I should probably stop getting my hopes up.
Z. I should also stop. I'm just setting myself up for another fall.
-Sigh-2 comments | Reply |
Tequila_Sunrise
Ogler
21983 points | Damn.
November 10, 2008 @ 01:45:49 am | I only had to work 4 hours today but still I'm soooo tired.
I didn't sleep at all last night - and not much the night before.
I think I'm going crazy  4 comments | Reply |
Tequila_Sunrise
Ogler
21983 points | Shit!!
November 09, 2008 @ 12:52:08 am | So the date on my computer says its the 24th of November.
Stupid thing. I completely freaked out thinking "Ive booked my hair and make up for the formal for amonth ahead!!"
Then I realised I was right all along And my computer was just being an ass.
Phew.
I thought I was losing my sanity... well, what I've got left of it!
4 comments | Reply |
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