 trillian
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Minister
13724 points
36/F/Chesterfield, United Kingdom
Join Date: Jun 2006 |
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| why is it that even though she says she loves me, she is constantly on my case? i am almost 35 and she still thinks she can tell me what to do. we fall out all the time cos i tell her to mind her own business. that how i decorate my house, how i look after my kids is nothing to do with her. she doesnt help financially although she does occassionally look after my kids when i go to work. but even then it is under protest. she is controlling and dominating and nasty with me when i tell her to but out. yet she calls me and says she loves me. what!!!!!!!! she is f**king my head up | |
gurgles
Über-General
676 points | She most likely does love you, but she sounds like one of those mums who can't accept their little girl is a grown up. Therefore you can't be trusted to make your own decisions and she must control what you do! Do you have brothers or sisters and if so, does she do the same with them? Does she have friends, a social life or is she lonely?
Not easy but you must be firm in telling her that although you love her, you're an adult and will not be dominated or treated like a child.
What was your relationship like with her as a child? Has she always been like this?
Hope you can sort things out. |
treebee
UM - BONGO
Über-Administrator
160109 points | I hear ya!  Something about the mother/daughter relationship certainly sets it apart from any other. I know how frustrating it can be, there you are a grown woman with kids and yet she can still step in and stifle you, undermine you and basically make you feel like you arent trying hard enough simply because you arent doing it her way.
I take great solace in remembering that actually she wasnt a model mother and she didnt practice what she is now preaching.
I love my mother dearly too, she lives a good hours drive away |
trillian
Minister
13724 points | | my mum has always been controlling and i didnt have a good relationship with her when i lived at home. and one of the reasons i chose to go to college 100 miles away was to get away from her. i came back to the same town but didnt live at home. she interfered with my first marriage which ended in divorce but would have ended anyway. she has interfered with all my friends and boyfriends. she even wanted to come into the drs with me this morning. she is stiffling me and i cant do anything about it. whenever i try to tell her i am a grown up and she wouldnt be telling the next person in the street what to do she gets all nasty and fakes chest pain. yes!! really. i threw her out of my house a few months ago cos of it and even my dad and husband agree with me that she doesnt listen. |
Pages: 1 spent a really good weekend at a solstice camp in derbyshire. weather was okay but the company was brilliant. spent quality time with my family and my best mates. |
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