 trencher
More Pics
Monk
38155 points
33/M/Hades, California
Join Date: Apr 2005 |
| |
|
2/17/07-
My life is an absolute mess. I am surrounded by the biggest collection of smothering, pestering, snapping, nauseating, griping females known to man. I adore women, but what I saw and heard on a sunny Saturday afternoon, did nothing but confirm my deep... dark suspicions.
All that I wanted to do was to slip quietly into my brother's home... hand him his gifts from my most recent beach excursion, chat for a little while, and head for the driving range. Instaed, I ran head on into a creature feature unlike anyone has ever seen before.
There lounging and cackling in the living room was the Ice Queen (the eldest of my sisters-in-law) and her four gargantuan female friends. These women were enormous. The word, hippopotamuses, doesn't even come close to describing the middle-aged quartet.
I felt like a cow being led slowly to slaughter, as I strolled by them with my unshavened face, my hat turned backwards, and wearing an ensemble that featured a Nike golf shirt and khaki shorts.
It was mild outside, but it was freezing on the inside. King Kong, King Ghidora, Mothra and Hedorah... gazed at me with hungary, probing, solemn eyes before returning to do whatever it was that they were doing. Their conversing could be heard from every room in the house.
It took longer than expected to conduct my business dealings with my brother, but I was quick to make my exit because the golf course was calling me. I shook my brother's hand, waved to the Ice Queen and her ginormous friends... and headed for the hills!
I am all for women's rights, but those widebeests should be caged for all eternity. It should be against the law for creatures of that immense size to be running loose.
The steely looks that they giving me... was something unholy. I suppose that it would feel eerie if four brontosauruses were gawking at you, like you were the last piece of pecan pie.
Thank goodness I was able to get out of that house with all of my body parts still intact.
| |
treebee
mmm pistol whip
Über-Moderator
153555 points |  for some reason im thinking of those really old movies when the men are fighting the badly animated dinosaurs.
*edit* oh i see, hence the title monster island - doh! |
angelcake
Über-Monkey
53233 points | Did you ever consider....your not that great?! Seriously I think you need to do some re-evaluation of what went on. Why would your sister in law be eyeing you up? And her friends, probably already married? Why would they eye you up?
Seriously someone has a seriously inflated ego. Not everyone is looking at you, coz suprisingly enough NOT EVERY LARGER WOMAN WILL WANT YOU. I know plenty of larger women and tbch they each have their very own individual taste.
Someone exceptionally gorgeous (e.g. jonny depp) would probably be devoured by their eyes. And I don't think I'd be wrong in assuming you weren't jonny depp.
Do you think all gay people want you?? Or all skinny women? No? how is this any different?! |
Pages: 1 |
Welcome... To Monster Island!
