 trencher
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Monk
38155 points
33/M/Hades, California
Join Date: Apr 2005 |
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12/3/06-
I was all set to write about what caused me to pull my hair out during my third viewing of "The Queen" but the events that unfolded at my older brother's dinner party was far more frightening.
If one of my sinister, uppity sisters-in-law and their witch of a mother wants to unfairly label me as an arrogant, chauvinist...then so be it. But I will not under any circumstances take some empty words from a woman that resembles the Michelin Man lying down.
My older broter phoned earlier and revealed some terrifying news: I have an admirer. And she's enormous. According to my brother, the woman, who was one of the guests at his dinner party...asked repeatedly about my absence from the event and has given me the green light to move in and claim her.
YIKES!!!!!!!
The phone conversation was one-sided in the beginning, as he gave me the low down on what happened a his party. When the conversation shifted to my gigantic admirer...is when my hair turned completely white.
His vivid description of that overweight monster and the conversation he had with her has led me to take a long look at myself.
I should have never left Las Vegas! I felt safe and secure in Sin City. There wasn't a soul hounding me, begging me or lecturing me about my lifesyle. But I came back and draped myself in that same dark, ugly evil that I left behind for those four glorious days.
In high school and college... I attracted my fair share of skinny/average chicks. But since reaching my peak n studliness...the only "things" chasing me is "something" that Bill Clinton wouldn't stick his dick in!
I'm a very busy man! I've neither the time nor the desire to involve myself in a lose-lose situation.
This is definitely a good thing! I'm happy that my brother told me about this woman. If it wasn't for Gigantor... I would have never come to the realization that something has to be done to "Reverse the Curse."
If I don't find a cure for what ails me! I'll spend the rest of my days dodging the advances of sweaty fat broads...like Clinton Portis does against linebackers on Sundays. | |
skanky_hoe
Über Master Debater
8625 points |  *shudders* that must be terrifying  |
nine_days
Über-Meister
2346 points | That sucks. I hate to sound shallow, but you really don't want a woman who is so massive she affects the tides.
Okay... I really don't care if I sound shallow. |
soulmerger
Über-Meister
2864 points | Well fat yes, but still a person, just like any of us. Just cause she's fat and sweaty doesn't mean she's less of a person or that she's below anyone, Jeez  you sound like my man- hahaha regardless if you don't like her, she found something in you that she liked, which I can see why..and even though some ignorant people can't there are plenty that do see your true awesomness! You are a handsome devil and madd smart! I think we all have our shallow moments.. So I'm not trying to put ya down or anything like that, please don't think that, this is your journal and you have the right to write whatever the heck you please. But yeah... Good for you for not letting people's empty words bug you...and even though I don't really know ya, you seen really awesome and I like that you are proud of who you are and not afraid to hide it   |
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