"Life is too short!!"  stephanieperrine
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General
231 points
20/F/Portland, Oregon
Join Date: Feb 2008 |
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So recently, I've been thinking about wanting a baby. It kinda all started when I was
severely depressed. Even though I've gotten a lot better.. I still think bout wanting a
baby. I know your suppose to share that with someone special, and the one you love,
But I think what made me start to think about having a baby was cuz I was so depressed,
I wanted to take my life. I was so scared, I didnt know what to do. I wanted to end my life
but at the same time, I didnt want too. It got worse everyday and everyday I thought to
myself what am I gonna do when its too late.. and I've done something I'll regret, that I
cant take back. Then I started to think how special it would be to have a baby. For me.
Someone who will put my head on straight. I just thought it would give me the courage
to look forward on life, cuz it wouldnt be about me anymore.. it would be about the baby.
Luckily I've found the courage to pull through and go in a positive direction, by going back
to school. So like a was saying.. I have gotten better, but I still want a baby. I'm really
not sure why. I am young and I'm trying to wait. Any thoughts on this issue?
I really hope someone responds.. I just want to hear peoples thoughts...
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alan82
Über-Meister
2768 points | well, I think it would only be fair to you AND the baby if you had a kid with a guy that is responsible and could take care of you guys. It would be rough for you and the baby if you just had a kid with some guy that you are not intending to spend your life with. It is hard enough to raise a kid with TWO parents, you would make it that much harder being single. And it would be harder to find boyfriends especially your age. Most young guys dont want a girl with a kid already. Just somethings to take into consideration.  |
MlissaBeth
Monk
33725 points | Wow, I completely know what you are talking about. But I have 2 children. I had my first when I was 18. And what I realized is that a child does not fix any problems. Generally they make them worse. I'm not saying my children aren't great but life is much harder with them. Not only that there are things that I want to do that I can't any longer. Children are amazing. I am grateful for mine. I stopped partying because of them. But life is harder. You have no more free time and no more life essentially. Not only that but having a child can make you severly depressed. After my second was born just a couple months ago I went into a sever depression. I didn't want to have her around. I cried all the time and honestly didn't want to live. Plus the screaming and crying when the kids are sick or upset can be really overwhelming.
My recomendation, play with a friends child, but wait until you are happy with your life before you bring another life into this world.  Good Luck! |
Vizzy
Ogler
21370 points | | Don't do it. That's too much pressure to put on yourself and on a child. No other person can change you or your circumstances, only you have that power. You have to learn to love yourself. I know that sounds trite, but it's so true. A child deserves the best that you can provide and that should include a mom who likes who she is and has a plan for the future. |
richreality
Über-Meister
2102 points | | Thinking that a child would improve your mood and life in general is a whole lot of responsibility to put on the child, don't you think? Is it really fair to expect your child to be responsible for your feelings or moods? That's a pretty big weight to carry on tiny shoulders. How about doing some volunteer work with local agencies that cater to children? Giving of yourself is a great way to feel better about life in general. Just a thought from this mom of two. |
stephanieperrine
General
231 points | | im not saying it would be the childs responibility for my well being.. i just thought it would give me the courage to move on.. i know it would of.. but i found it in myself. I really do want a baby.. i know sometime soon it will happen.. in the next few years.. im so much happier.. and im going to school and will have a stable job by the end of this year.. i just want to meet a guy and start a great life.. get married.. get a house and have my job and my new life.. i just am so impatient but i know it will come |
jeanettesianrachel
Ogler
29872 points | when were depressed alot of us want someone or thing to totally love me,but that is very selfish how would you feel if your mum said i only had you cos i was fed up,turn your maternal feelings into good use work volantary with any organisations that care for others and that includes animals.animals are very good one to do cos that animal is totally doting on you looking after on you for there every needs and are very loyal and give so much love,get better first so you can be so much more of a mother and your baby feels totally secure that they will get what they need,and this will rewarded back to you in thousands of ways,their first smile at you,that crying that stops when you pick them up cos they know who you are and you will give them what they need.please wait so you can fully appreciate the expierence from pregnancy right the way through,it really is worth getting better for.
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hallucinogenic_lipstick
Über-Minister
16701 points | A baby will not make you put your head on straight, if anything it could make you worse if your not over your depression properly.  |
treebee
UM - BONGO
Über-Administrator
163241 points | I wont say if its right or wrong, what i will say is that you have plenty of time. Nobody regrets having a child but many of us wish that perhaps we had waited until we were more settled or better educated or had a driving license or met a guy who was gonna be a really good dad. Things happen though and we muddle through with the best we got.
The hormones can get us at any age, but i would recommend waiting a while and see if they go away. And its a total cliche but a pet makes a good child substitute if you are not stable or solvent enough to be a parent yet. |
bettyboo
Mega Über-Meister
3808 points | | hey hunny kids are realy wonderful and can open up a whole new world but they are yours for the rest of your life it never ends i have three and we had them young wilst i wouldn't change them they have been my focus for nearly twenty years and i stil have about 5 to go befor i can be me again if you want something to love and look after get a dog or cat that way you can love it and it will love you back but you can still go out and be young and enjoy life till the time is right for you good luck |
stephanieperrine
General
231 points | | no one seems to be getting what i am saying.. i am better.. and still want one.. i really am trying to wait.. i just want this new life for me to start |
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