Over new year's weekend my ex came over finally and visited me. He stayed saturday night through monday with me, and it was almost perfect. We had to deal with my room mates and their guest's bull but it was romantic, it was a blessing to have him and his full attention on me. The sex was great and meaningful...and we talked about everything. We have over the last few days decided to be together, sort of...no real commitment still, but waiting to have us settle, him finish the military and start building his civilian life again, go to college and see where we end up. I don't like the waiting, I don't like just waiting to see if he's ready for me, and he's jumping into a big commitment from no real commitment, marriage for instance. He wants to start his LIFE, meaning children wife and the works...so he wants to see where things end up to make sure I'm the one I guess is the best way of saying it.
It possible that we might fall in love with other people, he loves me now, and wants to be with me now...but he doesn't know if he can provide all the things that he feels I desevere he says, or things that I want in my own opinion. I want to be with him, but I'm not close to being ready to start thinking about spending my life with him in that way. I have so much to still experience, I guess thats what his point is for now. And we'll see where it ends up. I'm excited about it, and scared s***less at the same time!