Letting go of anger!


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20/F/ayr, United Kingdom
Join Date: Feb 2006

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Age:	20
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fairy princess
TFS Journal

Letting go of anger!
October 24, 2006 @ 01:36:52 pm

My ex and me bf broke up two weeks ago!

And let me tell u all the things he’s said about me or told me or done to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

· Says I emotionally blackmailed him
· Says im controlling
· Says I was to jealous
· Tried to convince me I had no friends!
· Blamed me for getting my drink spiked! And passing out! How can that be my fault! And made me feel guilty about it!
· Told my best friend becca that I was horrible, had an evil twin, was suicidal, cheated on him twice,
· Made me tell my mum stuff that had nothing to do with him! Black mail if u asks me!!!!!!! He said if u don’t tell her I will!!! Now if that isn’t blackmail I don’t know what is!
· Told my mum that I had a drug problem, told her that she wasn’t aloud to leave me in the house on my own encase I killed myself! (iv never been suicidal in my life btw) which my mum just laughed at!
· Him an his mum sat me down and told me that I needed help!!!

ha i think hes the 1 that needs help!!!
·
Now he’s that controlling that he made me txt him every time I got home to make sure I was safe. Wouldn’t let me talk to any of my guy friends without him there! Told me what I was aloud and not aloud to ware! An I don’t smoke unless am out on the town. But he told he that if he ever saw me smoking again that he would take it off me and break it in half!!!!! That’s controlling!!!

The 1st weekend we saw each other everything was fine, so I managed to get over all the anger!
Then last weekend he had a massive go at me! And made me feel really guilty!
I actually started to doubt myself! And every1 that no’s me no’s I could take on the world!!! That’s how much he put me down. An all this happened cuss I was having a bad couple of weeks!

On Monday I got a txt basically saying that he never wants to c me again and am not aloud to talk to him! How am I suppose to let go of this anger! He’s really messed me up good!

But it was him that wanted to be friends.

How can u go out at the weekend and not acknowledge each other if u hang/talk to the same group of friends?
What am I suppose to do?

any body got any ideas, how to let go?

and the last time i saw him he told me that "when peolple break up it hurts like hell and that he just needed time". is he tring to make out that iv got no feelings? and then asked me why i waited till his x had gone till i came to talk to him! i didnt even no who she was! is he tring to say am jealous! i dont think so! then he stormed off!an i havent seen him since!

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alysedai Über Master Debater 9457 points	October 24, 2006 @ 01:40:07 pm
	I'd say you just have to distance yourself from him as much as possible. If that means avoiding situations where he might be, you may have to do that...but you'll never get better if you keep seeing him. Believe me, I've been there and done that.

brainfarmer Über-Minister 18313 points	October 24, 2006 @ 01:41:11 pm
	seems to be him that has the problem. im never sure how to deal with anger appropriately. i'd tend to avoid some-one were i had a choice till the hurt and anger had settled down a bit.

smurf Über-Meister 1736 points	October 24, 2006 @ 01:43:10 pm
	but why should i lose my social life cus hes a nutcase!!!! its quite funny if u think about it! hes still controlling me a bit! do u think it was my fault?

smurf

Über-Meister
1736 points

October 24, 2006 @ 01:45:45 pm

brainfarmer said:
seems to be him that has the problem. im never sure how to deal with anger appropriately. i'd tend to avoid some-one were i had a choice till the hurt and anger had settled down a bit.

im just so angry!!! i dont want to give up my social life! but at times hes actually made me feel like things are all my fault!

grrrrrrrrrr........

i really hate him!!!

need to keep laughtin thow

alysedai

Über Master Debater
9457 points

October 24, 2006 @ 01:46:43 pm

no, it's not your fault. But in order for you to get better, you may have to cut out on your social life for a bit. Because if you don't make that move, you'll still be angry and that will piss your friends off, and then they won't want to hang out with you anyway. You can also talk to your friends and let them know that you don't want to be in the same venue as he is. It's okay. Small sacrifices now will make up for later. You definitely just need some "you" time to work through your anger. Being in a ituation where you see him on a regular basis will NOT do you any good.

smurf

Über-Meister
1736 points

October 24, 2006 @ 01:53:45 pm

alysedai said:
no, it's not your fault. But in order for you to get better, you may have to cut out on your social life for a bit. Because if you don't make that move, you'll still be angry and that will piss your friends off, and then they won't want to hang out with you anyway. You can also talk to your friends and let them know that you don't want to be in the same venue as he is. It's okay. Small sacrifices now will make up for later. You definitely just need some "you" time to work through your anger. Being in a ituation where you see him on a regular basis will NOT do you any good.

thers only 1 venue in my area! i live in the middle of noware!
i dont want to make it look like hes affected me! cus then hes won! besides its him thats got th problem with seein me! im fine as long as he dosnt start hasseling me again!

smurf Über-Meister 1736 points	October 24, 2006 @ 02:01:35 pm
	i feel like i should try an go on as normal an show that im back 2 my happy self! and show him that he dosnt have an effect on me! does any1 think this is the rite thing to do?

brainfarmer Über-Minister 18313 points	October 24, 2006 @ 02:02:51 pm
	yep its difficult but i'd agree that a short term sacrifice of social life is better than a big time massive row at a party or gathering of folk. in my experience break ups jealousy (from one side or both sides of a split) with alcohol mixed in can lead to really bad s**t. you have to balance how you feel with everything else.

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