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shayknee2893

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Über-Meister
1806 points

17/F/Santa Cruz, California
Join Date: Apr 2008

My Stats
Age:	17
Gender:	F
Location:	Santa Cruz California United States
Posts:	632
PLS: ?	41.58
Joined::	Apr 03, 2008
Last on:	Jul 05, 2008
Profile Views:	143
Reputation:	9

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tequila_sunrise Über-Minister 15526 points	I'm listening to.. 53 minutes ago 0 Kudos
	KD Langs version of "Hallelujah" It's so sad. It all still seems to unrealistic. Today was good, I laughed and smiled and was happy. But now I think about it again, it hits me all over again. It's so stupid. I'm all upset again. Mum just said that if I'm getting all upset, it would be hard for me to want to make a speech about her at her funeral. Reply

tequila_sunrise Über-Minister 15526 points	I'm a fucking idiot. Today @ 12:22:32 am 0 Kudos
	I need sleep I haven't slept much in the last few days and I think I'm staring to see things! Seriously, I was at work and I was hearing things too.. I'm losing it 9 comments \| Reply

tequila_sunrise

Über-Minister
15526 points

Tonight was awful :(

Yesterday @ 09:26:00 am 2 Kudos

We went out to dinner as a family (just my family).... I thought us getting out would cheer us all up.
I did for a while, we were joking around etc.
Mum, Dad and my brother weren't as close to Tanya as I was... But they still really knew her..

I was doing really well, until as we were leaving and I broke down in tears. For the first time since the bad news I lost it. Infront of all these people and I couldn't help it. It all so f**king terrible.

I spoke to Brad before I left, he just cried in my arms, and I cried in his.

The funeral will be so sad.

I really miss her.

8 comments | Reply

tequila_sunrise

Über-Minister
15526 points

It's a new day.

Yesterday @ 02:54:11 am 1 Kudos

I'm really seeing the world in a different light today.
Even though I've just had the biggest shock of my life, the world around me seems more lively and for once I feel I have the motivation to start living again after so long of seeing the world in such an obscured view.

I still can't believe she's gone.

But I promise you Tan, I will live for you. From now on, I will take everyday as it comes and live for every moment.

9 comments | Reply

tequila_sunrise

Über-Minister
15526 points

Struggling to come to terms with such a loss.

Yesterday @ 12:34:38 am 0 Kudos

I look out my front door and across the road. I seen her car, among others mourning her death. The garage door is open, and somehow I expect her to walk out and get into her car, like she had just a few days ago.

I can't even imagine what her husband is going through. My parents went over to pay their respects this morning and they told me he looked like a mess. I wish there was more I could do.

I barely slept last night. I'm struggling to come to terms with it. It all seems so surreal. Like it was all just a dream. And when I woke this morning, to have my parents confirm that bad feeling that it was real, I seriously just could have died. She was so beautiful both inside and out.

I just don't get why God took her away. She was one of those people that you only come across once in your life because she was truly amazing.

Thinking about now, is making me break down in tears yet again. I haven't even gotten to see Brad this morning, he's over with his dad, struggling to come to terms with such a loss. I just want to give them all a big hug and take their pain away but I know I can't.

It just shows that you can't take life for granted. Everyday is worth living, and I've got to do it for her.

Rest in peace Tanya... I will miss you. Even though I only knew you for about 10 years, you still had a massive impact on my life. You and Michael were second parents to me and I knew you were people that I could always trust.
Take care in heaven, and I'll see you in the next life xoxox

6 comments | Reply

tequila_sunrise

Über-Minister
15526 points

Rest in Peace Tanya.

July 18, 2008 @ 02:36:07 pm 0 Kudos

The most beautiful soul I've ever known. Both inside and out.

My best friend Brad lost his step mum today. She lived right across the road from me and I have know her for about 10 years.

Without a doubt, Tanya was the most nicest person I have ever known. Her and her husband Michael were almost like parents to me...and this loss has shocked me to the very core.

I consider her family....

She was so young and had so much to live for... it makes me wonder if there really is a God above... if so, why did they take her away from us?

All my thoughts and prayers are with their family right now.

Yet i'm so f**king shocked.

I've never lost someone close to me.....until now....

8 comments | Reply

tequila_sunrise Über-Minister 15526 points	On a bit of a downer... July 18, 2008 @ 11:20:37 am 0 Kudos
	I'm so freaking exhausted emotionally and physically tonight. I just want to curl up in someones arms and have them make it all okay. Any volunteers? 5 comments \| Reply

tequila_sunrise Über-Minister 15526 points	Topic July 18, 2008 @ 04:43:34 am 0 Kudos
	Soo bored and tired. Wishing yesterday was just a dream, but it wasn't. Wishing there was more I could do for them. Wishing I didn't have to work tonight. Because of the news I received yesterday afternoon, it almost made me forget about the good things that happened yesterday. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. And lonely 4 comments \| Reply

tequila_sunrise

Über-Minister
15526 points

me me me me meee!

July 18, 2008 @ 02:44:58 am 0 Kudos

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Kim
Birthday: May 3
Birthplace: Penrith.
Current Location: Somewhere coooold!!! In Aussie land.
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Dark brown again

Height: I dunno

Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Dutch.
The Shoes You Wore Today: None!
Your Weakness: Certain people!
Your Fears: Life.
Your Perfect Pizza: Half meatlovers half bbq chicken and bacon.
Your Best Physical Feature: I dont know.
Your Most Missed Memory: sigh.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke zero
MacDonalds or Burger King: Maccas
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Both.
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: No f**king way
Do you Sing: Not ver good.
Do you Shower Daily: Yep
Have you Been in Love: ......
Do you want to go to College: Uni next year

Do you want to get Married: Maybe
Do you get along with your Parents: Not really.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes
Do you play an Instrument: Kinda
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope

In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
Ever been Drunk?: Yeah
Ever been called a Tease: Yeah but like they knew me.
Ever been Beaten up: No.
Ever Shoplifted: Yes.
How do you want to Die: I dunno
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:........
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: ...
Favourite Hair Color: I like dark hair
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: Doesn't matter.
Weight: Doesn't Matter
Number of CDs I own: Heaps
Number of Piercings: 5
Number of Tattoos: Zero
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 123456789... lots lol.

2 comments | Reply

tequila_sunrise

Über-Minister
15526 points

An update on Brads Mum.

July 17, 2008 @ 01:30:36 pm 1 Kudos

So she was airlifted to the hospital in the city,
They performed surgery on her for hours, she has 2 busted blood vessels in her brain..... her heart stopped, but they revived her.

I'm so f**king shocked beyond words right now. Shes a perfectly healthy (well so we thought) 34 year old woman.... and then she just collapsed.

I'm trying my best to be there for Brad and his family.... but theres nothing I can do but offer my full support and help them with anything I can.

Ive know them for years, they live right across the road from me and are practically my own family. I'm there for atleast an hour or two a day and they have always been there for me over the years.

I think she's gonna be ok. Oh god I hope she is gonna be ok.

Brads my best mate... and I hate seeing him in so much pain.

I'm in so much pain right now and I cannot imagine for a second what her immediate family are going through.
It's times like these I cant think of myself.

I just need to be there for them.

I hope she pulls through...

1 comments | Reply

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