He just stopped calling and replying to any of my messages or emails. Ok right first thought would be .. he found someone else.
Honestly I wouldnt care if that was simply the case. Even though it would stab at me indefinatly if I couldnt have ALL of him. I just feel like I lost one of my best friends in the Entire world. I just miss him so.. the thought of not ever being able to hear or see him again just brings me to tear.. Even now as I type and the thought runs past me. I just felt so "Connected" to him.. Mind and soul. I dont know why he just forgets me.. This is the guy I sang to sleep on more then one occasion; and him I.

I know there is not much I can do. I dont want to lose him... he has taken a large part of my spirit from me and keeps it bound. The emptyness that had enveloped my heart was vanquished once he and I became "closer" in mind. But it creeps up again.. I am just so Emtpy of care, passion, or determination. Its affecting my life and grades. I dont have a passion to do my career, or any. I dont have a passion to live. This is not just over Rick but the acummilation[sp] of thoughts that my mind harbors constantly.

I just miss him so much, dammit. Even if another guy flirts with me .. as I kinda did last night.. [ we kicked, threw, and headed a flat basket ball back and forth in a tiny room/kitchen. For 3hours ] I keep thinking of the afore said.

Perhaps you may have words of wisdom.. but I'm not sure what could take the stagnant chill that freezes my heart
Current Music: Phantom of the Opera