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On November 27, 2012 rubylights


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Mount Pocono, Pennsylvania
Joined: Nov 2007

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Age: 22
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HiImDan

New Post! An answer
June 16, 2013 @ 09:23:18 pm
0
An answer that will satisfy even the strictest college professor, what's the most powerful nation on earth?

Determination

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HiImDan

New Post! OK, this was a weird dream.
May 31, 2013 @ 10:03:52 pm
2
Last night I dreamt I was on an episode of The Big Bang Theory, where I feeling tired and we we're given our sleeping arrangments which Seldon was put in charge. I went to pray but kept getting interrupted (it would have been a great opportunity to use my "there's somethhing about putting God on hold" line), anyway, Penny finally bothered my for the last time so I ducked behind her rocking chair and she said "great, I got rid of our pastor", finished praying, used the bathroom and there was all kinds of commotion. It appears that a rival gang of nerds (including Will Wheaton, Kripkie and others) kidnapped Bernadet, Amy and Penny, sorta like a panty raid where you took the whole girl and we had to get 'em back. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

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HiImDan

New Post! Q: Why didn't God make two yogi bears?
May 05, 2013 @ 02:14:30 am
1
A: Because he made a "Boo Boo", sorry...

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HiImDan

New Post! *New Pledge of Allegiance*
May 03, 2013 @ 05:20:10 pm
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(don't know or care who wrote this, I just think it's a cool poem)

*New Pledge of Allegiance*

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

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HiImDan

New Post! A man goes into a drugstore
April 26, 2013 @ 02:10:57 am
1
A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.

"What did you do that for?" the man yells.

"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"

"No," the man replies, "but my wife out in the car still does!"

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HiImDan

New Post! Yeah, I know I'm ugly
April 12, 2013 @ 09:53:37 pm
0
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

-Rodney Dangerfield

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HiImDan

New Post! So I got in an arguement with the manager of the local Sav-A-Lot
March 30, 2013 @ 10:21:53 pm
1
So I got in an arguement with the manager of the local Sav-A-Lot and could get nowhere, so what I did was I took an empty box of Cocoa Puffs, filled it with rabbit droppings and took it to Sav-A-Lot and asked him "does this taste right to you?"

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