well, i'm back! hello and happy new year to you all , it has been a long time (4 months) since i last made an entry in my journal, appologies to all who read it wondering what had happend to my grandad and me. over the last 4 months i have had alot of things happen first around late september, my grandad got over his back injury wich cheered me up a great deal, but on a more serious note i am still looking for a new job (not going too well)! just before xmas i fell out of favour with my aunt and uncle over a misunderstanding and now i am no longer welcome in their presence. just before christmas day, i got back together with my friend, then after xmas day she tried to ! due mainly to the fact she is having a very hard and upsetting time with her son who is in care. i recieved a text from her asking for help and luckily we got to her in time. i stayed with her at the hospital even though she wanted her dad there but he never came! i asked him to come but he said it was too upsetting for him. i can understand this, but at the end of the day he is her dad. she was discharged from the hospital and i went to see her the next day, and we had a massive argument. she told me she wanted to end the relationship and just have some fun and concentrate on getting herself sorted out, which i have to say made me feel very unapreciated, unwanted, and cast aside like a used flannel!!!! i wanted to blame her so much but i couldn't, it wouldn't have been right to put more pressure on her knowing what she is going through. anyway a couple of weeks have gone by now and she has started being very to me and started spreading rumours about me to her friends. i felt so hurt by it all i got very very upset, the fact that i had no one to talk to wasnt helping, but a friend i have'nt seen alot of has come to my rescue and now i am feeling great! a bit of a turnaround eh?

this life i, we lead, teaches us some very interesting and often very dificult lessons and important lessons, sometimes they are very very hard to overcome but with true friends, it can be done.

i will see u all soon i hope to keep regular entries from now on.