 nigredo
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Über-Meister
2265 points
20/M/fallbrook, California
Join Date: May 2007 |
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| I just realized how worthless I am. Well, sort of anyway, to some people I am. There was this girl that i work with that i wanted to ask out and i realized that if i had indeed done that, i would have screwed over her life with my stupidity and worthlessness. I realized that to her, i could do nothing but hinder her and her life. I am not good enough for her and i doubt that i ever would be, even if her expectations were low enough for me, mine for myself for her would never be. I would never be good enough for her, and i almost ruined her life. Wow | |
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so, The Mars Volta is coming out with a new album soon, Bedlam in Goliath, in late january; they're gonna have a new year's concert up in san fransisco, anyone interested? i'm gonna try like hell to go, it would be sooo awesome! oh yeah and it's a costume party...concert, thing  so, you should go too and we can go together and enjoy their awesomeness
Current Music: wax simulacra- the mars volta
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well, this was one hell of a week. if you didn't hear, there was a big a** fire in so cal for the past week; well it wasn't one big fire, but it seemed like it. one of the fires was in my hometown too, so i had to evacuate as far away as i could, it sucked. so, i spent some time at a relatives house, it was sooooo boring. this was the longest week of my life!  i finally managed to get back into town today, luckily downtown was fine, the only spots that took any damage were houses on the outskirts of town. now with smoke filled lungs, i go to bed. sorry to anyone who i happened to be talking to before and just disappeared | |
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| i feel heavy right now, not fat, but heavy. kinda like a gained a lot of weight, but i don't look any different. kinda like a head rush, only backwards? crazy | |
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today was just one hell of a school day. i almost crashed twice on the way there, had to take a test that was pretty damn hard, forgot to turn in my homework for that class, oops, and almost ran out of gas on the way home. oh and i almost got a parking ticket too, cuz i forgot to put my permit on the dashboard of the car. i feel all shaky and s**t right now, oh well, it'll wear off eventually
Current Music: 40'
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i seem to have forgotten my purpose in life  would anyone care to help me find it again? or even remember?   | |
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| yay! i hit 1000 points today! i don't remember what i posted to get past there but yay! still, i liked the title of points whore better then meister oh well. i'm going to bed too, g'night everybody! | |
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why is music so amazing? how is it that music can change a person's emotions so easily? i can feel extremely pissed off, then i play some of my favorite music and forget why i was angry in the first place. i like how i have certain songs that can strike up certain moods too. i wonder who the first musician was, like the FIRST one, did he think that maybe he was crazy for coming up with it? what would life be like without music? now that i think about it, it would probably be impossible to not have music in life, anything can become music. maybe if we were all deaf, then music could possibly be nonexistent. god, music is so wonderful! 
Current Music: Liberi Fatali
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so i bought a nintendo recently, now i'm not talking nintendo wii or anything. i'm talking nintendo, like the original gray box thing. it's crazy cuz the thing is so old, but i loooove playing it! it's funny to look at some of these games and see how far we've come with technology, like with the first final fantasy, i looks so lame, but not lame as in it sucks, lame as in the graphics are very funny looking and so simple. that's another thing, how can someone have an xbox that has like 10 buttons on the controller and kick ass, but then go back to a nintendo that only has three buttons and suck ass? it's very amusing.
Current Music: the darkness of eternity
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wow, for the first time in a really long time, i can say that i am really happy. i've spent most of my life in despair and sorrow, i just realized that. i always questioned why everything was so bad; it wasn't bad, i was just making it bad. i have seen the error of my ways and am glad to rid myself of my old habits. i am happy! 
Current Music: melodies of life
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