"HeY hEy HeY,,,!!!"  midnightmoongoddess
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Über-General
407 points
18/F/Hell, New York
Join Date: May 2006 |
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“I’M GOING TO DIE ALONE!”
-“Someone was shooting at me, but why? OUCH! I am in some kind of dark room, cold, so cold. My hands are soaking wet, and dripping with my own blood. I look down, I have been shot, and there are two open wound holes right under my left shoulder, one in fact going through my shoulder. The person standing in front of me, the shooter, is standing in a shadow, face covered. My shoulder is gushing blood. I realize someone is behind me, but as I got to turn the person behind me shot me again, right under my right arm, in my back. That bullet knocked me clear across the floor, and to my knees. I can not hold myself up, and I collapsed to my stomach. Lying on the floor; breathing harder, and harder.
Then someone starts screaming at me, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO TREAT PEOPLE NORMALLY? YOU ARE RECIEVING NOW, WHAT YOU TRULY DISERVE! YOU WILL DIE LIKE THIS; NO ONE WILL EVER HEAR YOU SCREAM! ... ANY LAST WORDS?” I whisper back…”Over my dead body, Go to Hell!” Then they say “Its funny you use those words…See you there!” Yell voices slowly going away. Then one of them kick me in the ribs, and then stomach; knocking my air out, and ran away. ---Silence---
51
Then I hear another voice, a very familiar voice. It’s him! He says “You need to get up…Please Jessica, get up, Please, Don’t let this stop us from being together!” I can barely talk; my air, still knocked out of me, “What are you doing here, tell me you did not just see that!” I breathe harder now. “Jessica Get up, you need help!” I look up to see him, and he was not there, he disappeared. I put my hands flat on the ground and push up; make my way to my knees, then to my feet. Looking all around me without turning my chest, because it hurts. Gone. Again! A tear runs down my cheek, but then I remember what he said “Don’t let this stop us from being together!”
I stood up, all the way, still wobbling, and take one step, then another, grasping on to the doorframe I see in front of me; blood on my hands and running down my arm, makes it slippery, and I fall again to the floor, hitting my head on the concrete, and cracking it open. With blood dripping down my forehead, I stood up and continued on. Holding on to walls, doorframes, and every once of my life that I had left. I made my way to a window, and looked out. I was in…a shed, it looks like. I looked around for a door; it was not too far away, I was hoping I could get to it in time.
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I made my way to it, and out the door I went. I looked around it was so familiar; the voices, the surroundings…I knew where I was, and looked around for something more familiar, to show me the path to get to her. And I found her, still wobbly, and breathe slowly receding; I moved my feet as fast as my body would let me to get to her. “Mom…I need…to get…to a…hospital…” I managed to say in between breathes, using every once of my strength to steady myself.
She ignored me. “Help…me! She turned, looked me right in the eye, then down my body, skimming over my pain, and said, “If people were suppose to go to hospitals, God would have made them when he made the earth. People die in their own time; when it is there time, and this is your time it seems.” My eyes were burning, my body is shaking, and its weight to hold up strong, is taking most of my energy. Holding my balance as much as I could, and the tears back with all I had, still managing to breathe, I said it again. “I need…to get…to…a hospital…PLEASE!” Once again she ignores me. I collapsed again, hitting my head, and cracking it further. I moaned with pain. I crawled like a soldier on dirt, as far as I could, and stood up again, walked into the nearest room, turned around, looked into the mirror, and began to cry. “Why Me?! Why Now?!”
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I screamed, “I am not ready to die…I love Him…I need to tell him…!” I scream, loosing my balance, grasping my hands on the vanity to hold myself up. “I LOVE YOU…all of you!” I scream with every once of energy I had left, as I collapsed finally to the floor. Trying so hard to keep my eyes open “I am so sorry” I whisper my last words, and take my last breathe, close my eyes, and my life, crying…to a low moan…using all I have to breathe. I breathe in once more and let it go with my life. My heart pumps, “Baboom…Ba…boom…Ba…BOOM!”
My agony call
To die alone without warning
When nobody knows whats up
To BE...one
of those unsolved murders.
When nobody knows Im even missing
When nobody knos to search for my remains
When nobody hears my agony call
Day after day, still no one knows
Day after day, still no one bothers
Day after day, and again no one knows
When no body knows im even missing
When nobody knos to search for my remains
When nobody hears my agony call
To BE an unsolved murder
Dead without warning
covered over like dust under a rug
Unseen
Unthought of
Unknown
When nobody hears my agony call!
I woke angry and crying and with this need to cut myself. I had to forget what I had just seen; what I had jus been through. I began to go over in my head, what happened in my dream. Why this? Why that? Why would she do this to me? What did I do? I remembered my mom, why didn’t she help me? What good is a god that would let this happen to me? How can he have the power to move a mountain, and not have the power to stop a bullet? If he loved me so much, why would he leave me? Was he even there? I began to hate my mom for letting me die, for ignoring me when I needed her the most. How could she do this to me?
But she didn’t, and I remembered it was only a dream, but I still couldn’t shake the fact that she would do that, and I was still so angry with her, and I showed it everyday from then out. Everyday I remembered that dream, and everyday I see her in a different light.
‘How do you deal?’
How do you deal with stress,
That refuses to go away?
How do you live with knowing,
You’ll die another day?
How do you deal with knowing,
Tomorrow could be your day?
How do you deal with,
Just wanting to go away?
When do you know your life,
Is about to end?
How do you seize the day,
Without pretend?
How do you live through it?
How do you prepare?
How do you get ready,
For something so unfair?
When do you know you’re ready?
How do you feel?
How do you know you’re ready?
How do you deal?
But what if I did do something wrong? What if I hurt someone? What if my mom was gone and in her place, an alien type human took over her heart? What if I was getting exactly what I disserved and my dream was just telling me so? I mean, no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone goes out of there way to upset people! Not everyone can, in two seconds, hit someone directly with their deepest hardcore thought, hitting them right where it hurts. Maybe I disserve all this. Some people would agree with me. “What goes around comes around.” So now I have the world telling me I am a horrible person, on top of myself, but I am trying to get better, I am trying to find myself amongst all the other people inside me, all on my own!
Current Music: PANIC! at the disco...'lieing ias the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off'
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Im writing a book,,,heres chapter 8 copy and pasted
