"HeY hEy HeY,,,!!!" midnightmoongoddess
Hell, New York
Joined: May 2006
|im leaving on a jet plane i dont kno when ill b back again, blablabla, i said im sorry mama, i never ment to make you cry but tonight im cleanin out my closet,,,,,gobble gobble b**** b**** rebel rebel party party sex sex sex and dont forget the violense blablabla got ur lovey dovey saddle on stick ur stupid slogen in EVERYBODY SING ALONG,,,,,,Drop it like its hot drop it like its hot, drop it like its hot,,,,i dare you to move, i dare you to move, i dare you to lift ur self up off the ground,,,,,,,,,miss molly mack mack mack all dressed in black black black,,,,,im bringing home a baby bummbl bee hope my mom will b so proud of me,,,, IM OUT!!!|
Current Music: yea
|i wonder why there is two boxes i can type in, i kinda wanna type in the other ne to see what will happen,, but im too lazy to...do...that..um..? yea....so lets see, if i had to say something,,,,and jus so yall kno im jus,,what-ya-call-it, im venting... if i had to pick one word to describe life right now id say,,,well, hm, im not quite depressed, but i am lonley, i jus wanna get laid and make it mean nothing jus to feel in control again,, is that wrong? hmm im not happy, im so far from it, im not content, im not at peace, im angry, im scared, i feel stupid. i feel bad, im annoyed with myself,, i wanna cccuuuuttttt!!!!! i want to so bad, because the way i see it, i am the stable grounds for my friends, and im not quite sure i even have as many friends as i thought, i mean there was leah, but shes jus so fake and trying to make the world think shes someone shes not...i think shes making this s*** up about her uncle being perverted with her, cuz she knos my situation, i mean what does it do for her, beside get people uncomfortable around her...plus she got herself banned from tops...I MEAN TOPS???!!! wow,,,,then i had this guy friend Doug,, i dont kno whats going on with him,, hes jus changing, and theres nothing i can do to change that, and like i told him before, he was changing and leaving me behind,,, i mean god i sit here hating myself for ever believeing in 'True Love'...or ugh! heaven forbid 'Soul Mates' ugh! whats was i thinking,,and I TOLD HIM WHAT I WAS THINKING!!! wow,, what a dumbass, who tells a guy she thinks hes her soul mate.....and WHAT GUY AGREES? GOD! what a f***ing situation i find myself in...*sigh* what to do? well i guess im jus going to ignor Doug, i dont think he needs my presence around him. i want to hurt him, but i dont want him to be in pain, wow what a sissy i am...i jus wont talk to him anymore, but even when i dont, then i find myself thinking about him even more, ugh! revoling my world as is around but a memory, of me and him, oh so many of them i have, but one in perticular, in pure darkness, idky i cant gt this out of my head,, i had this party... and afterward we went to this dance club in Niagra Falls called the Krows Nest, but on the ride back to my house, i was laying in the back of the van, and he was sitting kinda like right by my side, i was jus laying there and i looked over and he was jus looking at me, all he had was a street light here and there to see me, but he jus gazed through the darkness down at me, and he reached out and touched my face, i remember closing my eyes because his touch, jus whips through my body like a thousand knives, and it stunned me, but in an extremly exctatic way, he jus held my face, and i wanted so bad for him to jus lift my face, or come down to mine SMTG..i wanted him to kiss me, with the feeling behind it, that tells me everythings okay when im at your side,, but o kno i cant have some stupid memory to think about like,, um,,,the akwerd seconds walking next to each other at a bombfire last year to the bleachers...i guess partly i cant stop thinking about doug because he broke my heart, but hey at least weeks before he warned me first i should have ran right then but kno dumb jessica keeps on keepin on...WTF! |
im being homeschooled again this year,,which totally sucks because jus one year made me a million times more depressed then i was b4 it, now i got another year of it,, oh joy...
Im gonna pierce my lips!!!!! im so excited...im jus waitting for the perfect moment when im pissed at my mother and i can jus BAM pierce it, and go to bed,,! im excited...
so no i dont have a word yet to describe life...alright? ummmmm.... ---dead--- thats my word, it describes everything, my mind, my heart, my body, my soul, my thoughts, my feeling, everything,,, i feel dead.....im tired and i cant find my candy so ill b back later
Current Music: theory of a deadman
Current Music: PANIC! at the disco...'lieing ias the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off'
He wakes up in the morning
Current Music: Ozzy 'Gets me through'
Look into those eyes
And say you
Current Music: The 69 eyes 'the lost boys'
|I open my eyes,and all i see is him,|
i open my eyes,and the lights go dim.
what have i done?what did i do??
it doesnt have to end like this!but now im afraid thats how it do.
i look into his eyes,see deep within him,
all i wanna do is cry,but im still dieing inside.
life hurt, and i resorted, to leaveing the earth,
but wut kind of person would i be,if i took my own birth.
he looks down at me,his eyes crying my thoughts,
his tears attempting to heal my internal torture,but they will never heal my cuts.i dont kno what to do now,im dieing on the floor,
im lost inside myself, here closes the door.
my eyes begin to close, my heart beats its last beat,
all these memories flood, and i try hard to get to my feet.
It was my choice to live at first, and it is my choice to die,
but why like this,what have i dun, WHY??
life came crashing down, i never did anything right,
now im begging to stand, but my chest begins to get tight.
i always made the 'bad' choice, and i always found myself in trial,
but now i had the chance to take it all away,and all i need to do is dial.life was good, at one point, life was bad the next,
but now im dieing,, and i recieve a text.
' i love you', signed by my sis, now i cant take this bak,
it cant end like this, i lose consiousness,
and fall into a deep sleep,I feel woosy,
but I don
Current Music: 30 seconds to mars 'the kill'
|Where do u get more smileys?|
Does anyone kno what 'RSS' means?
|i mean seriously,, this is information i need,, i jus got 1oo points and i have no idea in the fantas how it happened,,,o and the whoolle no idea,,,i dont kno wut i was saying,, i jus heard it b4, and i doubt they even say wut i interpreted it as so,,,Peas and cheese!!!|
|dont tell me to jus tell him,,,it wont work!! he knos but i screwd it up,, doesnt make hurt any less|
|i cant write, |
because i have nothing to say,
i cant think
because i always think to that day
i cant b with 'people'
because im too lonely and distracted
i cant laugh
because by only him im deeply attracted
i cant talk to him
because i dont kno wut to say
but i cant not talk to him
because with him is where i long to lay
i cant forgive
because i cant forget
and i cant forget
because i refuse to forgive
i cant cry
because im too confused
, but i cant laugh
because im not amused
i cant b happy
because lifes unfair
and i cant get better
because i cant care
life hits me while im down
and i dont kno what to do
life hit me when i didnt kno
what or who
i know that i cant
ever change the past
but i dont seem to kno how
to ever make them last
i love this guy so very much
and i so very wish he knew
that i for him, is juliet,
and he for me, my boo
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