Okay well I don't really expect or want any replies, I'm just going to make this journal for everything that pisses me off which I don't tell anyone.


One; Mick my mum's boyfriend.

I HATE YOU.

Okay you and my mum have been going out since I was in year 6, that's like 5 years now but you still have never ever ever said a word to me even though you've been living with us for about four years.

Oh actually there was that one time, the only thing you ever said to me, I come upstairs after school one day to find all of my stuff is in boxes on the landing, this naturally pisses me off a bit so I say what are you doing with my stuff, not to you, my mum and you reply with 'non of your business' AAGGGHHH, how dare you say that to me.
Why were you going through my stuff in the first place, if I touched any of your's you would go crazy!

Even on the first day I met you I hated you, and it's not that I have a problem with parents having partners I've loved all of my dad's they've actually made a bit of an effort, not you though. You didn't say hello, you didn't even smile one bit. You just glared at me with such coldness, it was horrible, I remember being terrified.

You bring down any happiness there ever is at home, which is practiclly none, but when there is you destroy it. For exmaple christmas, it was the only day everyone is happy, well almost happy anyway. Well until you came, especailly at dinner, you have the power to bring down any ounce of happiness. We all sat down, my mum tried to make conversation to you as normal you ignored her, it is always so awkward. She asks you a direct question such as so how was your day and you completely ignor her, just an okay thanks would have been better than nothing. As you ignored her she tries to make more conversation, she talks loads and loads and occassionally she'll get maybe a grunt out of you. She doesn't ever talk to us, me and Rebecca just you and you completely ignor her.

Christmas dinner is served, everyone gets there food, mum asks do you want any sprouts Mike, I hate the way she directs every question directly towards you, making sure we know we are not supposed to answer it's your question, you don't answer she starts talking about something else she then says again Mike why aren't you having any sprouts, I made them especailly for you, just have one please. You say they look disgusting and horrible, and refuse to eat one. Me and rebecca know they are especailly for you, we both hate them and so does she, they're for you and you rudely refuse to even eat one. It would just be polite to eat one, she insists you eat one you still continue to refuse.

Now all christmas sprit has obviously gone, everyone is silient while mum practically begs you over and over to just eat one. She then starts to get kind of upset, goes outside for a minute and comes back in, everyone eats in silence. That day just made me so angry.

Also with the whole food thing, if you aren't eating it's pasta or beans on toast, if you're eating it's a table cloth and a proper meal, she doesn't even try to hide the fact you're the only reason for the nice food. You could atleast try to hide it, but no only nice food if mick is there.

Then you complain to mum about any bad manners we have, you complain I eat to noisely, I eat with my knife and fork in the wrong hand, or I lean over the table to get salt or something stupid, you can't even say it to me you say it mum who then tells me off. But you're manners aren't good either, that's what really annoys me. Mum will warn you about 15 minutes before hand that dinner is soon, but still every day we have to sit and wait for about 10 minutes waiting for you, knowing that if we don't it you'll say we're rude. Then it's guaranteed you'll complain the food isn't good enough quality, the meat is undercooked, gravy is lumpy, every time there is something wrong with it, you don't even politely say you don't really like it, you just complain for ages at how disgusting it is when you know my mum spent hours cooking it just for you. Then when I want to leave the table there is only one way out as the the other end of the table the chair practically touches the wall, that's so you have more space, but where you are the T.V is a few meters behind, I get up picking up my plate making it very obvious I want to get out but you just don't move, you look up, glare at me and continue eating. Then everyone else has get out of their seats completely so I can get out, all you had to do is move in a little tiny bit but no you can't do that.

I also hear you complain to mum that me and Rebecca don't ask to leave the table or say thank you for the meal we're given, well we've never ever been asked to do that, I know some families do but ours doesn't so I don't see why I should start now, and to say thank you for our meal, surely that's what you should be saying not us, you're the ungrateful one.

Also you make mum smoke outside, she won't do it for us we've begged her to quit for years and years or to smoke outside but no she won't do it for us, however she'll do it for you. You told her to smoke out side so she does, she spends half her time sitting on a chair outside the back door just to make you happy, as soon as for some reason you move out she smokes in the house again when you move back in she smokes outside again, we aren't important enough to have our health saved from passive smoking but you are.

It's not fair, and you smoke to except you smoke drugs, mum can't even smoke in her own house but you're allowed to smoke drugs in it, surely that's not fair but according to you it is. Me and rebecca shoudn't have to live in a house which stinks of drugs 24/7. I know if I said anything about how unfair it is I'd get so murdered. I always do everytime I say anything slightly bad about you.

Another thing I hate about you is I'm terrified to go in most of the rooms of my own home, we don't have many rooms, upstairs in mine and rebecca's room, the bathroom and mums and your's room. I'm allowed in my room, and the bathroom but I can't go in your bedroom, no way. That's not allowed. Downstairs, the kitchen, yes I can go in there but honestly who wants to hang out in a kitchen all day, then there is one one room, the lounge/dinning room. For the first three years of you living in our house that was your room as apprently you need space. When it was like that I was trapped in my room all day, I had no where else I was allowed, then mum decided she wanted to split the lounge/dinning into two rooms, once for me, rebecca and her and one for you. The room was tiny as it is, in two it'd be so small, and I knew you'd get the bigger half as it can't be split exactly in two because of the fire place thingy, I guessed right you got that half. I said over and over I really thought it was a bad idea, mum didn't care she still did it regardless of what I thought. Now you have you own room. How is that trying to bring us together as a family, I don't want us to be a family but I'd expect mum to atleast try instead she divides it in half, I am actually so so scared to go in that room, I dont't even know why. It's my house and I'm terrified of going in a room, I've been in it about three times now, the first time it was about 4am, everyone was asleep, there was no way of anyone knowing, but it took me 2 hours to be brave enough to go in it, when I did I was petrified, my heart was beating so fast, I kept getting images of you comming up behind me and screaming at me. I went out very quickly as I was frightened for some weird reason you might come downstairs. Weeks later I thought to myself, wtf, it was 4am, everyone was sleeping and I was scared of going into a room in my own house.


Anyway, rant not over but I'm bored now. I've ever spoken to anyone about mick before, I don't know why so that felt good just to rant a bit.

The annoying thing is I've written for about an hour I think and not even got through a fraction of the things that annoy me about mick.